Breaking the Ice in Magical Realism

  • Jan. 24, 2017, 12:32 p.m.
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  • Public

Objectively, 2016 was a phenomenal year for me. I achieved most of my personal goals and some unexpected ones:

  • Won the International Winter Swimming Association World Cup
  • Completed non-stop solo marathon swims of 42 miles, 32 miles, 30 miles, 28 miles, 22 miles. 18 miles, and two 17 milers.
  • I got a large raise at work
  • Was quoted in the New York Times
  • Set a world record/female first as the first woman to swim an “Ice Zero” Mile (1650 meters at 0 degree C water temperature, -30 degree C air temp in Siberia)
  • Won the World Open Water Swim Association’s Woman of the Year Award
  • Won the Global Marathon Swimmers Federation Award for Best Overall Year
  • I traveled to China, Scotland, England (twice), Sweden, Estonia, Russia (twice), Iceland, Bolivia, Peru, Italy (twice), Switzerland, France, and Latvia

And after pretty much each of these achievements, I went back to my hotel room and sobbed like a baby.

Something about not being able to tell my dad? Sometimes I feel so empty, so sad that my most impressive achievements almost all came after his death. But maybe that’s not coincidental. I’m not a very introspective person but it bothers me that I can’t seem to shake this. It’s like the rug’s been pulled out from under me and I’m just left…grasping.

This lifestyle is glamorous, and mostly easier than it probably sounds, but it can be exhausting. Thank goodness for A. He keeps me grounded and keeps things running at home. I could never love anyone more.

2017 has been okay so far. Personally.

I headed to Bavaria for the Ice Swimming World Championships, fully prepared to lose my age group title, and that’s exactly what happened. On the plus side the overall female winner is exactly my age and I still managed to place in my age group, so I’ll take it. Did okay in the shorter events too, and partied like a rockstar. Did a mad impromptu swim from Austria to Germany in the pitch black, no goggles, sliding down a snow covered hill into the surging current, then running barefoot to the waiting chase car. We all made it, fortunately, but it was probably ill-advised. Luckily ran into Birna at breakfast and grabbed a ride with them straight to the airport. Breakfast in lounge before getting on the long flight, home, then back to the airport the next day to fly to China.

My flight was delayed which gave me some time to sleep in, repack my suitcase, and even go to swim practice. Flight to Shanghai was long by myself but I slept and watched movies. Shanghai was misty grey, we did all the normal things, then got on the bullet train to Jinan. I had a window seat and cried almost the whole time, looking out the window at the grey countryside while we sped along at 304 km/hour.

Arriving in Jinan we checked into hotel, then headed out to Daming Lake. I didn’t want to get into the water but it wasn’t so bad. This was the coldest year yet. Then to lunch and the big swim the next day. I was nervous the whole time, walls of cameras, so many distractions but was more confident in my swim fitness this time. Finally it was time, took the boat out to the island, got undressed, Vlad was on the island and covered me with his parka while we waited. I chose a spot slightly off the line, hoping not to get kicked in the face. It worked well, I stayed with the lead back and was able to pass everyone except one super-fast Chinese lady. I didn’t even see her so I can’t be disappointed. Very nice prize money, even for second place. Great party that night and then off to our next destination the next morning.

Bus trip and then our arrival in Tai’erzhuang. I always love this ancient walled city, it’s like the Chinese version of Colonial Williamsburg, only much more picturesque. They’d build this stunning pool for us in the Grand Canal - absolutely amazing. Very nice welcome banquet but the swims the next day were grueling. Between individual events and a relay I was in and out of the 2*C water 8 times. And there were no indoor areas, saunas to ease the cold. By the end I was shaking uncontrollably but I soldiered on for the relay and then we were done. Time to party!

Back on the bus the next day, again not enough sleep, too much booze. Long train ride and then another 3 hours on the bus. When we got on the bus the second time, a bag of McDonald’s hamburgers greeted us at each seat. Dinner of champions I guess. When we finally got to Wuhan, the hotel was something else. Huge and very nice, in a Las Vegas/Macau kind of way. We got in around 10:30pm and then had to be up by like 6am the next day.

Went from the hotel to the event in Jingmen which was quite a production. So many swimmers, tons of spectators and a really amazing venue. Clear freshwater lake with a sand beach, huge sandcastles and banners and even a sea plane/skywriter for us. Big production. We had to swim a triangle route out to a small island, about 450 meters. We had a beach start, I was well positioned a bit back where I like to be, but as I ran in/dove my goggles fell off and I had to correct. Swam next to Lotta for a bit but then got caught at the buoy behind a Chinese swimmer and just couldn’t get past her, not for speed, I was just blocked in. So frustrating. I felt good with the swim itself but was disappointed in myself for not being more aggressive/tactical. Rallied to do a relay with the Latvian guys and got some good prize money for both the relay and the individual swim.

We had lunch, went to visit some Ming dynasty tombs, then got ready for the big closing gala. The gala was sooo nice. We got a very luxe karaoke room at the hotel afterwards and partied the night away. Morning came too early the next day and then we headed to the airport and back to Shanghai. Low-key night in Shanghai, got to airport early the next day and napped with a glass of red wine in the massage chairs in the lounge for two hours before boarding. Flight got in Friday night and A met me at the airport. Dropped off my suitcase at home and headed to the Korean spa for body scrub/hot tub/sauna. Slept the rest of the weekend and here we are.


Last updated January 24, 2017


pandora January 24, 2017

I was just wondering where you were! I think you've accomplished more in 2017 than most people do in a lifetime! Have you taken time off work for all the travel/swimming, or is your job flexible enough that you can do both?

I'm really sorry about how you're feeling. I can't even fathom losing one of my parents; I can understand feeling like you wish your dad wasn't missing all this, it seems similar to the way people feel about having a child shortly after losing a parent or spouse. It changes things. xo

Satine pandora ⋅ January 24, 2017

I do both - which is often convenient but mostly insane.

pandora January 24, 2017

I meant 2016, obv... Oops. ☺

dickson. January 24, 2017

You are amazing.

Parliament January 24, 2017

When did you lose your dad?

Satine Parliament ⋅ January 24, 2017

October 2014

Parliament Satine ⋅ January 24, 2017

I'm sorry. I lost mine in 2006 (I was 33). If you're up for it: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/schmich/ct-fathers-day-mary-schmich-met-20160617-column.html

Satine Parliament ⋅ January 31, 2017

Thanks so much for sharing this. Some very apt parts. Thank you.

Complicated Disaster January 24, 2017

You're such an inspiration! xx

Deleted user January 24, 2017

It's always so great to hear from you!

nowthat'salady January 24, 2017

Glad to hear from you!

Calicakes January 24, 2017

Its like 50F here and I'm freezing, wearing pants and a coat and a hat. How you swim in that water is beyond me.

Jigger January 24, 2017

Here you are!! I've been behind for months, and entries keep falling off my unread list, and your name kept not popping up, but here you are, and I just love reading your stuff.

Your accomplishments are so wild and amazing, and I am so impressed and proud for my sorta-anonymous internet friend, but they really can't compensate you for what you've lost. I am so sorry. I know we all get there someday, but that doesn't help, and I am so sorry.

Deleted user January 24, 2017

Amazing ! And so good to hear what you have been doing ! Congratulations ! And I am sorry you are sad so much :-( Hugs !

kmh. January 25, 2017

Hugs x
Amazing achievements, and what an incredible year it sounds like you've already had!

revellingreckoning January 26, 2017

Deleted user February 03, 2017

I love reading about your accomplishments. You are absolutely incredible and should be very proud! I know your Dad would be.
I'm sorry that the pain of losing him is still so raw. I wish I could tell you that it goes away, but it doesn't. It just gets... different... after a while. Just be sure you are allowing yourself the grief. It is important.
You have an incredible life. It is inspiring.

edna million February 03, 2017

What an amazing- and exhausting!- year!! It's not at all surprising that losing your dad makes everything much harder and stranger, though. My mom died nearly eight years ago, and I still become overwhelmed with sadness about the things she's missed. Although I do really believe they are there-it's just hard to really feel it sometimes.

Deleted user March 30, 2017

Hey how are you doing? 😚

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