I'm somewhat irrationally annoyed when total strangers call call me "ma'am" or refer to me with female pronouns. I know I look manly, but I suspect that most people see me as a butch lesbian, not as genderqueer. Well, mostly people probably have no idea what genderqueer is.
I told my husband that I thought it would be hot if he came to my defense when someone called me female. I didn't really think he would do anything because I know he is non-confrontational, but I still thought it would be a nice gesture if he did.
We went out to eat the other night and the hostess said, "Hi gentlemen" when we walked in. But after we were seated, our waiter called me ma'am. After the third time he called me ma'am, I was starting to get a little annoyed. Then, much to my surprise, my husband whispered to him loud enough for me to hear, in a very apologetic way, that he would appreciate it if he stopped calling his husband "ma'am."
The waiter turned to me and called me sir and told me he sincerely apologized. And it sounded like he meant it.
I loved it. Not only was my husband defending me, but he was openly acknowledging that he is gay as he admitted that he has a husband. When I told him how much I appreciated it, he said that people calling me female was actually offensive to both of us. It's offensive to me because I'm not female and it's offensive to him because he's not straight. I liked that.

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