A new face haunting... in Dreams

For the longest time (over 2 years) I was haunted by this girl I just referred to as “The Ginger”. I know a lot about her, but that’s for another story. Now, I have a new one. Jessica. She’s a scrawny brown-eyed brunette. She’s not quite right. I don’t know if it’s a purely physical issue, or psychological, but she can’t walk a lot of the time. Sometimes I just have to help her walk, sometimes I have to carry her. Sometimes she can barely utter a sound, sometimes she just speaks short sentences in a quiet voice. When she gets bad, it’s usually an intense situation and she almost shuts down. I didn’t consider it when I was dreaming of her, but when I woke up, I happened to think (okay I’ve been up 2 hours and I just thought of this) that her… I dunno, disabilities, might be representative of how I get internally when bad things happen. When I get mad enough, I do tend to shut down. Doesn’t always work well.
People have told me that your subconscious will never show you a face that you’ve not already seen. Well, just the The Ginger, (might be better if I just call her by name; Alyssa.) I’ve never seen Jessica’s face before. Not sure if this is common, but I have a thought process in dreams, and identifiable emotions in my dreams. Being with Jessica, I have the same feelings that I had/have with Alyssa. I get the feeling I’ve known Jessica for a long time, but not as long as Alyssa. Even though I don’t know why she gets unable to walk and talk at times.
I dunno what’s going on. Part of me still believes that I get shown these kinda of things because I’m going to meet them, or someone like them. Part of me thinks this is just my mind’s way of trying to fill the void of being single for so long. I dunno.
It’s New Year’s Eve. I know what’s going to happen. The fireworks are going to make me think of Jana, and I’m going to be scrambling to shove my earbuds in and find some distraction to not think about what I don’t have, but it’ll fail. Again. Shocker.
I may try and block my hearing and sleep through it. Spend time with either Alyssa or Jessica, depending on who my subconscious decides to show me. Either way is the better alternative.

Sorry, I’ve been away. Life happens.