Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away) in General

I had turned 22 a couple of months before I married for the first time. I thought I was pretty worldly, growing up in a military family and living all over the world. Little did I know. But of course, you don’t know what you don’t know.

The problems started early. Partially cultural, partially expectation based. Being in the military didn’t help.

The relationship my parents have is very traditional. Mom stayed home and took care of the house and the kids, and dad went out into the world and did dangerous shit to make money that mom could spend to feed us kids. I mostly grew up in base housing. Mom volunteered with the red cross as the kids started getting more independent. I don’t think she had another paying job until I was a senior in high school.

I suppose X1 and I were doomed from the start. Really. After the sex gets boring, and you have nothing in common, and I was constantly gone. What holds a marriage together?

For me it was tradition and expectations. Scots-Irish, Presbyterian and Baptist. There is an order to the world. Rules exist for a reason. I had a very hard time divorcing X1.

I had plenty of temptations, but I never acted on one until we had agreed to separate.

Then one brief night on the beach in Pensacola. Lana opened my eyes. I get wistful when I think of that night. What might have been. But probably better a memory.

The sad truth is it gets easier the second time. Divorce. As much as it hurt, it was easier.

I knew it all along
I’d have to write this song
Too young to fall in love
Guess we knew it all along…
Mötley Crüe