Traditional Holiday Flash Friday in Flash Friday

  • Dec. 23, 2016, 4:03 p.m.
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  • Public

Of course the traditional flash friday holiday is halloween, but you know, either way someones stockings are ending up on the mantle.

“So, what’s it like, eating brains? Do you get … aroused?”
“Are you an idiot?”
“Well, I’ve never met a zombie before. In the movies you guys can’t talk, it’s not like I’ve ever imagined having a conversation …”
“And yet you have duct tape and … what is that a stake? Got any silver bullets.”
“I could use the duct tape on anyone, anyone slower and dumber than me. I’m smirking asshole.”
“Fair enough, I guess. You’re faster than a dead guy and you’ve got mad TV watching skills and a lot of loose ducts. So, yeah, no. Do you get a hard on when you eat a taco? You know that little taco stand? They have brain taco’s. Check it. They call it cebreza or cerebo.”
“That’s beer.”
“No, cervesa is beer. Christ I’m glad I didn’t get your brain, you might be contagious.”
“Oh, yeah, here’s a smart question; how come in the movies you guys sometimes just bite someone and make them a zombie and sometimes you all pile on and eat the guy so there’s no coming back. I mean is there some criteria, or do you just eat the yummy ones, or what?”
“Shit, I don’t know, I’ve never been in a movie. I was almost an extra in I Am Legend, but they decided not to have extras.”
Oh, oh, oh. You said shit. How does that work? I mean your intestines are all rotted and you eat like all the time, what is zombie shit like?”
“Shouldn’t you kill me or something? This is inhumane. Were alive people such idiots when I was alive?”
“That’d be like murder.”
“I’m already dead.”
“Yeah, try explaining that to the cops.”
“Try explaining duct taping a corpse to the cops. In either case the Medical Examiner is going to put my time of death at like five or six weeks ago.”
“Which one is it, five or six?”
“I can’t remember I was dead.”
“How’m I going to come up with an alibi then?”
“You just … you know what, not my problem. What do the non-talking zombies on TV do?”
“They moan a lot and shuffle.”
“Ok, that’s what I’m going to do then. Mooo annn …”


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