Jayson got LA Rams tickets for last Sunday through his company and he invited Guy to go with him. Well, he invited me first, but I declined. I wouldn’t have enjoyed myself and we would have had to deal with babysitters, so this was easier.
So Rachel and Guy came down to our place and Rachel spent the day with me. I asked her if she wanted to go to church with me, certain that she’d say no, and she agreed! So we went to church. I enjoyed having my sister with me, and she was very cordial with everyone.
Afterward she suggested we grab lunch somewhere. Normally I don’t like to go out on Sunday, but Jayson was already breaking that rule at a football game so I figured I would too. We went to a nice place and Rachel paid, so that made it even nicer!
When we got back home, the kids went off and played and Rachel I guess felt like she could finally open up to me because we were alone. She starting crying and talking about how she wanted a divorce. She said she had called Megan to talk about it and Megan said she was being a “mega bitch” and that if the marriage ended it was Rachel’s fault.
Then she said, “So both of my sisters have called me a bitch in the last week.”
I felt guilty. I felt like I was part of the reason she was crying. But I said, “I’m not trying to be mean to you. I never want to make you feel bad. But sometimes you say things that really make me feel bad. And it’s then that I think you’re being a bitch.”
We talked a lot about what she thinks is wrong in her marriage, and all she really could say is that she’s annoyed with the fact that Guy isn’t looking for a job. She called him lazy, but when I asked if he does anything around the house, she said he actually does most of the household chores.
I said, “Who cares if he works then? You have plenty of money.” I know this for a fact because earlier in the day she’d been telling me she wanted to pay for Jayson and me to take a nice honeymoon. I told her that would be way too much of a gift, and that’s when she told me how much she earns and how big her 2016 bonus is going to be.
I’m proud of Jayson and how much he earns, and the fact that he can support a family of five. But Rachel earns more than 4 times as much as he does. And they have no kids. So yeah, they are doing fine for money.
So I told her she ought to just accept that she is the breadwinner and Guy takes care of the house. And that’s when she told me what I think is the real problem. She wants her husband to be more manly. She wants him going to an office and doing all those things we see responsible adult men doing in movies.
Guy is not manly. That’s not intended as an insult. He is effeminate. He openly identifies himself as “queer.” He started dating Rachel before she transitioned to female. And to be honest, I think a lot of people that know him are surprised that he has a wife.
None of this is a surprise to Rachel. She knows all about her husband’s sexuality. So why is it all of the sudden a problem?
There was a long silence of us just sitting there in my kitchen not saying anything. Then she finally said, “We need a code word other than ‘bitch.’“
I was confused. She said, “I want you to call me on my shit, but it makes me sad and angry when you call me a bitch. Let’s have another word.”
I don’t know. I told her I don’t make a habit of calling anybody that, certainly not my sister, and I apologized for it again.
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