Why in Things

Why is it that everyone in this house can get back to normal but I can't. I know I know.... Everyone says it's just a cat. And to that I say STFU! He may have been "just a cat" to everyone else but not to me. He was my "oldest child" my best friend he was with me for everything. He loved me no matter what. People ask me how old he was and to be honest I'm not completely sure. He was probably 18. Yes he was old and had his problems but damn it he was my baby. He was around before I was even pregnant with Erin (she will be 15 in 2wks). I am just completely 💔. I never should have been in the room with him when they did it. NEVER! He was so drugged up that he didn't even know I was there. I couldn't even look at him through my tears. I just kept my hand on his chest/stomach until he stopped breathing. It was so fast. Once they injected him it was only about 15secs and he was gone! Gone forever. Like he never existed. Poor Tom doesn't know what to do with me and to be honest I don't either. I just wish there was a way to make the hurt and pain go away.