Not sure what to write about. Feel like I should. in Give Me Mercy and a Minute now. I'm a bleed a little poison out.

So, long story short my life is still fucked.
I am on the hunt for a place to rent that I can afford solo. Or trying to find a roommate or roommates.
Hell, I am trying to figure out where I should move to.

So things have just kinda…been.
I have been hunting for somewhere to rent or what have you in various areas, and I did find a place that could be great. I meet the person on Friday to meet and see how the fit would be. Fingers crossed guys. And wish me luck. PLEASE. I could really use this. It would be back in Madison so I would be closer to friends again. And it is cheap. So I could also start saving up. I could really use this.

Other news…Her and I haven’t talked in awhile. Not sure what’s up with that. Kinda sucks. But whatever. I just need to take shit day by day right now. Though I do miss her.

Ash…would probably get mad at this next part.
I did respond to B. And in typical fashion we argued and then went back to kinda just talking like normal. Still not sure if I entirely trust her or what have you. But who cares. Lately all I have been believing is that it is all about moving forward. Fuck the past. I am here for the present and walking forward. Take the punches and walk right fucking through them.

Work has been meh. I mean. It is back to me being the only real market person. So I got people bitching at me about shit constantly all the while they refuse to recognize that the truck team not pushing things correctly is the reason shit gets fucked up. I am 1 they are 18 to 20-something. That is a losing battle EVERYTIME. But no according to the STL “This is just us. Has nothing to do wtih people pushing wrong.” Which makes NO SENSE.

Family life. Still a joke.
Using my father to get my car fixed and such so I can be mobile then work on saving up and figuring out where I want to go. And what to do with my life now.

It’s all about moving forward.

Seriously though this new GAGA album is fucking incredible.

I did manage to get Halloween weekend off. So Movie Marathon tradition continues. Problem is…both Cole and I are off this weekend (the only 2 truly competent market people) He is my TL so he doesn’t count as a full market person because he gets pulled away to do a milllion other things. So No telling how this coming weekend goes.

Also RL online is annoying the shit out of me. The people on there are ignorant as all hell. They don’t understand that the game doesnt award points for positioning. Blocked shots. Defensive plays. etc. etc. They dont recognize the concept of TEAM work. If your score is low....it doesnt matter what you were doing. You can be setting up plays and making passes that they just ignore or whiff entirely and then you are the shit one even though you are baby feeding them shit and protecting the net and keep the team in the game. They are the dumbest fucking people I swear to god. And then tehy say that you should play 1v1 if your team is the problem. Problem is that 1v1 is a total joke of a gametype. It is purely who gets the lucky bounces. All there is to it.

Anyway…yeah…Overall. I am worried about shit with HER. But at the same time....I can’t make somebody care about me.
B…hmm…don’t know there. Part of me misses how her and I used to be. Hell, part of me misses her. But then there’s the other part of me that doesn’t know whether to trust her or not. I do hope she gets her shit together and we can repair our friendship.

Family....I think I have finally broken on that front. As far as my mother goes. Idk what to do to get her to stop this hyper negativity and overly pessimistic shit. ANd to stop this whole no point nothing matters theres nothing in the future blah blah blah shit. Rest of my family is a joke. Sister is a fucking bitch. Turns out the place she was talking about her and I staying at fell through and she never fucking told me. I still have her god damn dog and her shit. And anytime she doesn’t want to talk she just starts ignoring shit and claims “Charlie threw phone in the tub” How many fucking phones does she think we believe she’s been through? How many times does she think that nonsense excuse will work? Father is just a total piece of shit. Blindly ignores the facts of things and still believes himself in the right....even after I fucking lay that shit out clear as fucking day. And set traps for him to walk into. And when he starts to walk into them he fucking says I am not answering that. That same “no” “lalalalala” fingers in ears bullshit. Fucking coward.

Idk. I am just…going.

And I still REALLY want my tattoo. I am considering the style of that image from Hawkeye comics. Thinking it might be cool on my forearm as one of those sort of spray paint drip effects.

King Out.