The ripple effect. in Hello.

From the moment of conception, we start to send out ripples. Tiny at first, we’ve arrived, we exist, hooray! Our parents are the first to be affected by these ripples, then as we grow, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings all change their course slightly as they’re hit by our tiny ripples. Imagine a lake, clear and deep. There are ducks and leaves on the lake. Throw a pebble into the lake, it sends out ripples. Even though the ducks and the leaves stay put, those tiny ripples move them, wake them up slightly, make them change course. That’s what we as humans do.

As we grow in size and stature, so do our ripples. Teachers, school friends all change because we’re here. Shop assistants, utility companies, mortgage advisers, dentists, doctors, midwives, colleagues....all the people we are likely to encounter in our lifetime change their behaviour when they encounter us.
I liken it to a big, complicated machine, full of cogs. The cogs are constantly being removed and added and every time that happens, the way the machine works changes slightly, but continues to work all the same. The machine would work without my cog, but my connecting cogs would perhaps start turning in another direction, or not turn at all.

One day, we are not here any more. We were a second ago, then like a click of the fingers, we are not. Like the pebble hitting the bottom of the lake, our ripples continue. We live on in people we love. Briefly they find it hard to function, our passing leaving a gaping hole in their lives. Eventually they start to move again, but we’ve already touched them, did things, said things. Certain scents, bits of music, lines from comedy programmes all make us think of our lost loved one. The pain doesn’t go, but we learn to carry it with us.

We live on in people who knew us “Oh, remember the time when…?” and we laugh and reminisce and feel sad because they’re not here to share the joke. We live on in people we didn’t know at all. The lady in the corner shop wonders why you haven’t been in for your paper lately. The man on the bus wonders where the lady who smiled at him one morning when he was feeling like crap isn’t getting on the bus any more. Dogs approach our partners, quizzical looks on their faces; “Where is he? He usually pets me…”
Ripples.

The ripples continue out into the universe, our entombed body feeds the earth once more. Trees and flowers grow where we lie. People stop and smile at them. Birds and squirrels live in them. Our writings and teachings, our memories, our touch. Once we have existed, we never die. The universe continues to carry us forever.

On Tuesday my sister’s fiance was taken from her. Now instead of planning for a wedding, she is planning his funeral. My parents are with her. My heart is breaking for her.

Last updated October 14, 2016