I could feel it in the air that something was about to change. Something HUGE and life-altering. You know that feeling in the air like nothing seems the same any more? You're almost as if in a dream. It has that smell, a sort of thickness to it and looking around you you realize that nothing is permanent. Nothing is forever.
This is what I told Matthew after he got the news.
Some opportunities you just can't pass up. You scream out "YES!" right away without any consideration to anything else in your life. It's not selfish - it's just the way that it is. You gotta do what you gotta do, as they say. And I'm a huge supporter of that mindset.
When a loyal and trusted friend invites you to be a partner in a well-known restaurant...you don't refuse. You can't. There's just no way. Especially if you're 23 and this is the biggest opportunity you'll ever get. Who gets to own a restaurant at 23 these days? No one, that's who.
When he was offered the chance, he could barely contain his excitement when he told his family and I, all sitting around the dinner table. His brother, already a restaurant owner, gave him sound advice and told him to be careful. His father was proud, his mother said " You're going to make me and your girlfriend sad!" to which Matthew rubbed his eyes nervously - it's a little thing that he does.
I told him it was amazing. And it is. It's so incredible. This is going to happen. He'll be an owner of a restaurant - a restaurant that is 5 hours away from here.
The other night we went out for a drink to cheers to the town he'll be going. I felt a rush of emotions. I felt proud of him. He deserves it more than anyone knows. But, I couldn't help it any more, so I just blurted it out.
"Are you going to break up with me?" I cried. Literally. I mean, at that moment tears started to just stream down my face.
He laughed and wiped my tears with his fingers. "I just had to ask, you know?". He said we might as well talk about the big, humongous elephant in the room. He told me that it was really up to me. He didn't think it would be fair of him to ask me to wait around for him. I didn't really know what he meant by that, but he explained that he would understand if I wanted to break things off. I'm turning 28 in a couple of months and he told me he doesn't want to hold me back in life. Then he went on to say that he will be visiting for 4 days every 9-10 days. "When they were explaining the days off to me, they told me I'd have plenty of time to come home and visit my girl. Who do you think my girl is?" I smiled at that.
I told him that I wanted to be with him. That I didn't want things to end. So, he suggested that we take things one day at a time. He told me that it will be hard, but the hard is what makes it good. And I think that's the hardest part - not knowing what will happen.
But, as Matthew says, one day at a time. And today, I just feel like crying.
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