Happy Anniversary... not in The Mundane Ramblings of an Insane Mind

Yesterday was my 11th wedding anniversary. And to that, I say.. BFD.

Last year, I got my wife something really nice for our 10th.. and what did she get me? Nada. Her excuse? “Oh, I didn’t think it was that important to you.” Ummm.. 10th anniversary… hello?

This year, I didn’t even bother. Nothing from her, no surprise, except, “Did you know it’s our anniversary today?” Me: “Yeah. Happy anniversary.” Whoopie.

And was it happy? No, not really. I spent two hours working outside, pulling weeds. In the rain. (Long backstory about my asshole neighbor who complains EVERY year to the town about my property, files grievances, etc.). The town is coming out to inspect. Today. But so far they haven’t shown up, which is weird.

Then I went to work for another 6 1/2 hours. THEN I went to Walmart to get some stuff I needed.

The one bright spot from yesterday… someone left us an envelope at church. Anonymous. $1000 cash. Wife controls all the money. I got $100 of it.

Wife says she’s tempted to take the money and go get an apartment for her and the girls. (Plus another $6,000 she borrowed from her pension). I’m about to say “go for it.” Why bother staying in a loveless marriage where she is the dictator, and apparently, I am just the dic(k).

Not to mention I haven’t gotten laid in at least 3 years.

My birthday is next week. I’ll be… number of cards in a deck, minus the jokers. That day, my wife’s first day back at work.. which means… babysitting the kids.

Last year, ALL I wanted was some time to myself, to go metal detecting. Never got it. Going to damn well make sure I get it this year.

Oh, wife got gastric bypass surgery and so far has lost 50 pounds. She suggested I get the surgery, too. I am not THAT overweight. She thinks I can’t lose it, because I’m not committed. So we made a bet. If I reach my goal, I get immunity for any 5 things I own from being sold or thrown out. (Yeah, I have a messed up life).

So I need to lose 20 pounds, and keep it off. By Dec. 31. Damn, I can do that by the end of October without working that hard at it.