Hamster, Wedding again, Heavy Metal Ceilidh in Diary
- Aug. 12, 2016, 11:05 a.m.
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- Public
Every day this month I have a pet sitting assignment, which is great. A nice top up to my income since I stopped walking Roxy. Last week it was a cat called Dusty, two visits a day. This week it’s a house with two cats and 10 chickens. Next week and the week after it’s two rabbits. And I have another cat next weekend. A lucrative month.
So the house with the two cats and 10 chickens. On Sunday morning I noticed a hamster cage in the conservatory. She didn’t tell me she had a hamster, did she want me to look after that as well? I looked in the cage, and the hamster was dead…I sent her a text saying I was really sorry to have to tell her but her hamster had died, does she want me to do anything? She replied saying “He was only cleaned out yesterday, not sure what happened? I’ll deal with it when I get back.”
I’ll tell you what happened love, it was 27C (80F) on Saturday, and you had him in a glass conservatory which probably doubled the temperature. He was lying on his back all stretched out so I’m placing my bets on heatstroke. Why would you keep him in a glass structure in the middle of summer? I wish I’d found him sooner, I would have taken him into the house. I feel so sad for him, suffering like that. I just hope she’s not blaming me, as the question mark at the end of her sentence seems to insinuate she’s asking me what happened. She didn’t even tell me she had a hamster! And saying she’ll deal with it when she gets back…well that was five days ago and it’s completely putrefied now, there isn’t going to be anything to deal with when she gets back apart from throwing his little house, which he’s lying in, in the bin.
The joys of pet care.
Jay’s had one of his colds. Because he has allergies and asthma, he always suffers really badly with a cold, but I never seem to catch any of them. My kickass immune system always kicks its ass.
On Tuesday evening I’d made an appointment with a wedding videographer to go and view some of his work. Jay claimed he was too ill to move off the sofa and I had to go on my own. So I did, I was really impressed with his work and booked him; Jay said he wasn’t fussed about a video so he would let me book who I wanted. I told him I have a degree in Media Production so I have high expectations, haha. So that’s another job done for the wedding!
On Wednesday, less than 24 hours after he was too ill to move off the sofa, he went to the pub with his mates, stayed out drinking until 1am and then walked home. Is that some sort of miraculous recovery, or what? I get the feeling he just didn’t want to come to see the video guy and was making excuses.
All week he’s said he’s going to contact some cake makers, as I’ve done literally everything so far and want him to do something. Every day he says “I’ll do it later. I promise. I’ll definitely do it today. I swear” and still nothing. Apparently cake makers need six to nine months notice so we have to start looking now. He’s also been sitting on the invitations for MONTHS. We’ve come up with a couple of ideas we both like, and he’s going to design them as he’s got the software, the knowledge and the skills. But he still hasn’t even started doing them. We’re going to have to start printing and writing them soon and this is the one thing I can’t take over and do. I sometimes wonder if he does it on purpose just to wind me up.
This is what I’ve done (that I can remember off the top of my head):
Booked viewings with all the venues.
Booked the venue we chose and paid the deposit.
Booked the photographer and paid the deposit.
Booked the DJ.
Contacted different videographers, went to a viewing, booked him and paid the deposit.
Bought my dress.
Booked the band.
Booked the registrar.
Booked the appointment for giving notice and paid for it.
Contacted a few different florists and booked an appointment.
Decided when we would go ring shopping.
Started a Facebook group and invited people to “Save the date.”
Got the information from the hotel for guests to book rooms, including a discount code.
Passed the information onto the guests so they can start booking - INCLUDING Jay’s parents.
This is what Jay’s done:
Spent a few minutes looking at invitations.
Chosen a suit by looking online but hasn’t been to try any on.
Came with me to some of the appointments I’ve booked.
Complained about the band I picked because he wants a soul band.
Changed his mind when I told him to find a soul band that he wants.
Are all men like this??
I forgot to write about the best thing from Cambridge Folk Festival and that was the heavy metal ceilidh! The only time Jay will dance is when he’s drunk, or when we’re at a ceilidh; we’ve been to a few as some of my friends have had them for their weddings. The one at Cambridge Folk Festival had a metal band with electric guitars, drums etc. but playing folk music that you skip around to. It was lots of fun :o)
Last updated August 12, 2016
Camdengirl ⋅ August 12, 2016
Poor hamster - I can't believe she was just going to leave him all week without even telling you to check his food/water!
On the wedding stuff, I am willing to bet that he just doesn't care. It really doesn't matter what you book or what you wear, everyone will have a great time and no one else is going to remember what colour the napkins were or what you ate. Ask what bits he thinks are important and then he has to do those. And then you do whatever you think is important. And anything else just gets chucked, as no one cares. Or if someone else does care, it then becomes their job.
Bomb Shell Camdengirl ⋅ August 12, 2016
I know, I couldn't believe it either when I saw his cage there, then she was asking me what happened to him?
These aren't the napkin colours though, we're still on the big stuff at the moment! He's had no involvement in booking even the venue, the registrar; the most basic stuff we need to have a wedding. I asked him to make a phone call once, and he whinged and whined about it for a couple of weeks and I ended up doing it myself. I've got a feeling I'm going to end up doing the cake as well, after he's promised for a few weeks that he will do it. As for the invitations, well I just don't know, if he doesn't sort them himself I'll have to end up sending everyone a text message!
Camdengirl Bomb Shell ⋅ August 12, 2016
Why not just let him then? It honestly doesn't matter as long as it gets done.
Bomb Shell Camdengirl ⋅ August 12, 2016
Let him what, promise for weeks to do something and not do it so we either end up with nothing or I end up doing everything? And yes, we both want a cake. And rings. And flowers. And invitations. And table centre pieces. He wants chair covers but I don't care. He just doesn't want to do anything about any of it.
Camdengirl Bomb Shell ⋅ August 12, 2016
Or not... Do you need a cake?
history of love ⋅ August 12, 2016
I think the fact that she didn't even let you know/tell you about a hamster says it all! Because, who does that? :-(
Jay sounds like a man. I think it's rare to find a man who is equally bothered about all the details as a woman is. Totally get why it's annoying though.
x
Bomb Shell history of love ⋅ August 22, 2016
I feel so bad for him, I wish I'd known sooner, I would have taken him out of the oven and into the house, I can't imagine how much he must have been suffering :o(
The annoying thing is, Jay IS interested in all of this, he just isn't interested in organising any of it!
Amaryllis ⋅ August 12, 2016
Just do it yourself! Sounds like he doesn't care or find joy in planning and details. It doesn't mean that he doesn't care about you, or isn't excited to get married, it's just that planning isn't his thing. Clearly, it's yours! Plan away and make sure you're leaving room for his opinions and involvement, should he want it, but don't try to force it. I did 100% of our wedding planning because I love planning and my husband is a hopeless indecisive procrastinator.
Oop, just thought of something - he did manage to choose his groomsmen's gifts, but just barely, and with much begging/hassling from me to make sure they were ordered.
Bomb Shell Amaryllis ⋅ August 22, 2016
He is interested in it, he just isn't interested in organising any of it. He has opinions on EVERYTHING but doesn't do anything about it. I don't have time to organise the entire thing myself, I need him to help me.
Bumbly ⋅ August 12, 2016
Mark only had to get his suit and did it the weekend before we got married so he's doing better than him already lol
Bomb Shell Bumbly ⋅ August 12, 2016
He hasn't got it yet, he's just seen one he likes online! It's obviously a man thing...
Babe In Toyland ⋅ August 12, 2016
Can we not have a heavy metal ceilidh at your wedding? PLEEEEAAAASEEE!??!
Lucretia Babe In Toyland ⋅ August 12, 2016
I second that motion
Bomb Shell Lucretia ⋅ August 22, 2016
OK, we'll have a DJ, a classic rock covers band, a soul band and a heavy metal ceilidh. Looks like this wedding is going to have to last all weekend!
Canadian Lass ⋅ August 13, 2016
Yes. ALL men are. We almost had a huge fight on the eve of our anniversary, over anniversary dinner plans that i had been asking him ALL WEEK PRIOR TO for ideas for.. 1130pm we had our plans worked out finally.... lol
Bomb Shell Canadian Lass ⋅ August 22, 2016
Wow, talk about leaving it to the last minute...!
mutedexposure ⋅ August 13, 2016
Poor hamster.
My son is clueless as to how wedding. He started the save the date Facebook group and has gotten addresses to send to his future MIL. He doesn't know location or anything. I know more than him.
Bomb Shell mutedexposure ⋅ August 22, 2016
Oh my, he doesn't even know where he's getting married?? That's taking it to another level.
Deleted user ⋅ August 17, 2016
That poor hamster! !! I think it is a male thing. They don't really see the big hype over one day. Joe keeps saying to me that it's "my day" and we can get married where i want blah blah.
Bomb Shell Deleted user ⋅ August 22, 2016
The annoying thing is, he is interested in the details, and gives opinions on everything I show him, he just isn't interested in organising any of it. If he just let me do what I want, I wouldn't mind so much. But he didn't like any of the cakes I chose, for example, so I asked him to sort it and he's been sitting on it for weeks! He can't have it both ways...