Meltdown. in (W)hole

Ignore this, probably.. not that anyone reads this shit anyways…

I’ve been getting everything perfectly in order all week and then today - BAM! I dropped the fucking ball and shot myself in the foot and now I’m having a total mental breakdown.

We need to be packed up and ready to leave on the 19th. That is in 4 days. MOST of the house is packed up, but it is FAR from being done, I haven’t even touched the cleaning aspect yet. I need to get the rest of the kitchen packed up and cleaned out, I need to finish laundry, I have a handful of dishes I need to finish, and I need to clean the entire house.

IN FOUR DAYS.

BY MYSELF.
Whatever, I can probably handle that, but…

here’s what’s causing the meltdown- I applied for an apartment at these nice income-restricted apartments in Spokane. I don’t want to live in an apartment, first of all. I have ZERO desire to live in an apartment community. BUT, we can afford it and I have to find a place to live, so alright, here we go. Paid $100 to reserve our unit, paid our application fee, and filled out like 40 pages of applications and mailed them to this woman in the office there. Fine. I had to pay $9 to fax the 19 pages of income information to her on Wednesday, and then she apparently emailed me back saying she needed me to redo several pages because they have white out on them. Seriously?? She also couldn’t find a court order for Kasin’s child support, AND she didn’t like my trasncript copy of my tax returns, because it “didn’t look like the kind we’ve seen before.” …?? It’s a fucking official copy from the IRS, DEAL WITH IT.

So now she’s saying that if I don’t get this dealt with IMMEDIATELY I may have to push back my move in date. WELL I CANT DO THAT, lady, because I have to move out of this house on the set date. There are new people moving in the next morning. I have a shit ton left to do, but I CAN MANAGE THAT, what I CANT manage is NOT HAVING A PLACE TO LIVE, having to re-fax applications for a RIDICULOUS fee, and having to come up with ALL NEW DOCUMENTS TO PROVE MY INCOME WHEN EVERYTHING I OWN IS PACKED. I can’t do all of this. I can’t take all of this stress by myself. I’m fucking DONE.

Right NOW I should be packing up the rest of my kitchen and cleaning out my garage, but I’m NOT, because I was counting on having Kasin here to help me with the kitchen since I need someone to climb up on the counters and get everything down from the tops of the cupboards, and he is spending the night at a friend’s house tonight. I allowed that because he finished packing up his bedroom. However, after he left, I went to take some of the giant bags of trash out of his room (he said he couldn’t lift them) and one GIANT black trash bag was SO over stuffed that it ripped open on my front porch and spilled stuff EVERYWHERE.

Among the things he was trying to throw away were his soccer jersey, a bed sheet, two movies, and a whole bunch of other shit that I absolutely do not want him to throw away. He also threw away an entire Mario chess set that my parents got him for xmas, which cost like $50. He had been begging for it for several years, and I told him NO because it was so expensive and I didn’t want to pay that much for something he wouldn’t take good care of.. AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED?

Fuck. ME.

Just FUCK FUCK FUCK. We are going to have to live in a god damned TENT if we don’t get into this apartments on the date that I had previously arranged for move in. I cannot believe this office woman at the apartments didn’t CALL ME instead of just emailing me, despite her saying in the email that it was basically an emergency and I was cutting it too close to my move in date and I needed to sort this stuff out ASAP! … SO FUCKING CALL ME!!! I am busy packing and cleaning and trying to MOVE several states AWAY, can you pick up the god damned PHONE???

FUCK. MY. LIFE.