Articles of faith in Brexistential Breakdowns

Article 50 is starting to crop up more frequently in the news now, though obviously leadership battles on both sides continue to dominate the cycle overall. The Tory party conflict is currently looking like it’ll be a two-horse race between human rights nightmare super best friend Theresa May and “worst minister we’ve ever had” Andrea Leadsom, whilst the Labour party continues to shout “STAND DOWN OR WE’LL RUN AGAINST YOU” at Corbyn, who shrugs and replies “go on then”, only for the party to shout back “NO REALLY WE MEAN IT, WE WILL”. It’s fucking embarrassing now, to be honest; 172 MPs think he can’t lead the party, yet not a single one of them is confident enough to stand against him, instead resigning (ha!) themselves to harangue and plot against the man responsible for the biggest surge in membership in recent years, who they just can’t unseat no matter how many chances they give him to stand down.

Regardless of the outcome, when this is all over the case of Jeremy Corbyn versus the PLP will make an absolutely fascinating case study into the power of the media to warp and distort a story. Here, for example, is Jeremy Corbyn turning round to address a reporter, as reported by the ToryTelegraph:

Business as usual, then.

This sort of behaviour isn’t unique to Jeremy Corbyn or the Labour Party, by the way, as today has offered up a great example thanks to Article 50 of the Lisbon Treaty, which deals with member states leaving the EU. Article 50 states that “Any Member State may decide to withdraw from the Union in accordance with its own constitutional requirements”, which for us means Parliament has to debate and vote on the issue. A legal group acting on behalf of businesses and academics has sought assurances that Article 50 won’t be triggered without the appropriate steps being taken, and here’s the BBC’s reporting of it:

Let’s read that line again, shall we? Here, I’ll emphasise the important bit:

“A law firm is taking action to ensure the formal process for the UK leaving the EU is not started without an act of Parliament.”

Got it?

Good.

Here’s the front page of today’s Express:

Business as usual, then.

You may notice that the bottom sentence reads “It would force MPs to pass an act of” before the story continues on page 5, but of course, the vast majority of people who see that headline won’t be turning to page 5 to continue the story. But that headline will stay in the minds of enough people for long enough, through the shopping trip, during the commute, through the work day, during conversations at the dinner table. They’ll carry it with them, and it’ll colour their beliefs and attitudes and opinions, and after decades of this behaviour from the media - because, let us not forget, this is not recent behaviour - those views will be deeply entrenched in their minds. The anger, the indignation and the outrage, is whipped up by the headline, the actual truth of the story is irrelevant.

It’s an entirely reactionary thing, of course, because the case for not triggering Article 50 is being made increasingly frequently now, in the light of such developments as the severe battering our economy has taken, the impending break-up of the country, a five-fold increase in hate crimes (notable examples from the past 24 hours include swastikas daubed on the memorial to an MP, and a man caught on CCTV throwing pork at a mosque in London), and the fact that we’re likely to get exactly none of the promises made by the Leave campaign now that basically everybody involved with it has backtracked on their claims and/or stepped down.

And I’m not joking about that, whilst I was writing this entry Nigel Farage stood down as leader of UKIP, so that’s now two of the chief architects of this catastrophe that have stepped down to avoid any accountability or repercussions for their actions (unless you’re counting Cameron on the technicality that he proposed the referendum, in which case it’s three), leaving Carswell and Gove doing some furious backpedalling. At any other point in time, I would’ve been happy, overjoyed, priapismic with delight at the triple-resignationfest that has seen three of the most odious and divisive men to ever smear their feculence across the face of British politics leave office. But instead I’m angry, because they caused this, all of this, and are now fleeing the consequences whilst the rest of us suffer.

I’m not the only one to feel that anger, though, so expect calls for the referendum to be ignored to increase in volume over the next few weeks and months. Indeed, professor of European Law Michael Dougan has called the Leave campaign “criminally irresponsible”, British philosopher A. C. Grayling wrote a letter to all 650 MPs imploring them to not support triggering Article 50, and even Horseman of the Apocalypse War former PM Tony Blair reckons we should at least ask again now we’ve seen what a Leave vote has done to the country. Unfortunately, those who currently remain (ha!) in leadership roles or potential leadership roles seem to favour triggering it, and I’m not sure what it would take for the prevailing sentiment to change. Things will get worse for the population over the next few months as things drag themselves out, and I doubt even that will have an effect on parliamentary opinions, even though they don’t want to do it either.

Granted, Tim Farron has actually pledged to stop Brexit, but voters remember and consequently nobody gives a fuck about the Lib Dems thanks to Nick Clegg - a man history should probably look on with a kinder gaze, all things considered…

Article 50 will become even more prominent in the near future, regardless of how many call for it to be ignored: until we officially trigger proceedings we’ll still remain a member of the EU, and until Parliament passes that official declaration that can’t change, so for the time being we’re stuck in this limbo situation of wanting to leave yet not wanting to go. We’ll continue to burn whilst shits like Farage laugh furiously in our faces, and Boris has the fucking gall to call for a post-Brexit plan despite A: dropping out of the race for leadership after realising how fucked up things were, and B: campaigning for Leave without a fucking plan for leaving.

Seemingly everything about this whole situation is fucking insane, and more and more I’m beginning to feel like I’m not actually living in the real world any more; like I had an accident at some point and this is all just some vivid coma dream I can’t wake up from, or I’ve died and this is my own personal hell.

And I have proof…

BONG!

Katie Hopkins has come out in support of Jeremy Corbyn.

Seriously.

That Katie Hopkins.

I think I finally get what Four Non-Blondes were singing about.

BONG!

Germany has proposed offering dual-citizenship to British residents in order to make it easier for them to remain in the country following the Brexit vote, which is probably the best non-resignation related news I’ve heard since the result itself. The fate of EU nationals living in the UK remains up in the air right now, with Theresa May (who’s currently still the Home Secretary, remember) unable to confirm their future status and at least one UKIP Lord saying we “hold the stronger hand” in future negotiations with the EU because of the number of EU nationals resident here. Despite the overwhelming majority of people from both sides of the debate being against deporting up to three million people, until such assurances are given - and it’s looking unlikely such assurances can be given until negotiations with the EU have concluded, so that’s at least another two years - those residents are being forced to live with the uncertainties about their future, and growing anxieties over how the rest of the public now views them.

BONG!

Around fifty thousand people marched through London on Saturday on what’s being called the “March for Europe”, with protesters carrying pro-EU banners that carried a now-familiar theme…

Though I think I have a new favourite pun in

Utter genius.

BONG!

Pop Singer and MySpace legend Lily Allen goes undercover reporter as she finds herself sat behind Tory leadership contender Liam Fox, the Devil given form Fox Media overlord Rupert Murdoch, and noted anti-establishment figure perpetually railing against both political and media elites Nigel Farage, at an event put on by Evening Standard and Independent-owner Evgeny Lebedev. The footage of her calling them wankers is an utter joy to watch.

Also what the everloving fuck is up with Farage’s shoes?

How tasteful…

BONG!

Two notable pieces of internet-based tomfoolery now, as somebody puts up “Nigel Farage’s plan for UK departure from the EU” over at thebrexitplan.com, and somebody else realises that Michael Gove hasn’t actually registered gove2016.co.uk and manages to purchase the domain before he does. Those responsible should never have to pay for a pint again, as both of these are works of art.

BONG!

Finally, home of Judge Dredd 2000AD are the newest contenders for burn of the year after posting this image on their Facebook page.

For those that don’t know, Judge Dredd takes place in a dystopian future society ruled by a brutally totalitarian regime, with street Judges like Dredd acting as police, judge, jury and executioner, and storylines frequently feature heavily political themes and views, so yeah, this one beats Douglas Carswell’s reaction to Farage’s resignation into second place…

Sorry Doug; it was good, just not 2000AD-good.

BONG!

So we’re into a new week and it’s already off to a fantastic start, with a little good news to brighten the sky like sunshine breaking through a downpour. I think much of the country would join in me in saying goodbye to Mr. Farage, in the only way we can…