Just done in Musings

There’s been so many times over the past few weeks where I have just felt done. Done being pregnant. Done being a mom. Just done. I know so many women would give anything to be where I am in life so I hate complaining. But it’s so freaking hard. All of it.

There are bright spots. Leah is finally potty trained! (For day time anyways) And when she decided she was ready it was an absolute breeze. She just asked to put on panties. And then she just started using the potty all on her own. No prompting. No bribes. And she’s only had a couple of accidents since then. Moments like that make me proud.

Nathan described it well the other day when we were talking about these first years of parenting. “It’s either incredible or terrible” And it’s so true. She does the most hilariously cute things that make us laugh. But then she breaks the same rule for the 1,000th time that day and it is just completely draining.

In only 20 days we will be adding a newborn to the mix. I’m beyond excited and also terrified. If I’m tired now how much more tired am I going to be managing two of them? I have no idea.

But man am I ready to not be pregnant. It has gotten so uncomfortable and painful. And I’m ready for my squishy little baby to make her appearance. I can’t wait to see what she looks like. To just hold her in my arms and look at that face I’ve been longing to see for so long.

Nathan hasn’t found a job yet. This next week he’s going to be forced to just find something, anything. I hate the idea of him settling again but we have no choice. That’s a whole other stress added to everything else.

I’m sorry I haven’t been commenting lately. I’ll get part of the way through an entry and then get distracted. Or I’ll get to the end and start to write something and think “I’ll come back later” Then never do. The pregnancy brain is real guys. I do still love you all and appreciate all your kind words and thoughts right now.