I now have three surveys on my desktop. So in the interest of cleaning off my desktop, here goes.
What is your middle name?
Steele
How old are you?
53
When is your birthday?
August 6th - Hiroshima day. Momma dropped a bomb!
What is your zodiac sign?
The regal Leo
What is your favorite color?
Forest green
What’s your lucky number?
7
Do you have any pets?
Not any more. Every now and again I think about getting a malamute puppy, but that would guarantee I would get a job and then I would be one of the many assholes in the apartment complex who leave their dogs alone for 12 hours a day.
Where are you from?
Right here. After spending most of my adult life out west I am now literally 3 miles from the hospital in which I was born. Everything is circular.
How tall are you?
6‘3”
What shoe size are you?
13
How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Two pair of running shoes, a pair of hiking boots, a pair of winter boots, a pair of mukluks, two pair of cowboy boots, three pair of dress shoes. And a pair of penny loafers. So…11.
Hair color?
Brown with late onset grey.
What talents do you have?
Mmm. I haven’t found a vehicle I couldn’t operate, even without training. Man, that Coleman aircraft tug was fun with that 4 wheel steering. Database stuff seems to make sense to me. Not sure if that is a talent.
Are you psychic in any way?
Not really. I feel engaged in the supernatural to a degree, and have seen things I can’t academically explain. I used to write about that back on OD - when we lived in a house that was built on an area of Penn Cove in Washington state that had been a Skagit Indian Potlatch. A LOT of strange shit happened there.
Favorite song?
American Pie
Favorite movie?
Toss between Princess Bride and Top Gun.
Who would be your ideal partner?
A 5‘10” Blue eyed blonde, 36C-24-36, retired supermodel who grew tired of the life and went to medical school and is now a neurosurgeon and doesn’t mind spending time with an increasingly pudgy middle aged man who adores her.
Do you want children?
All done. Two out the door, and I shoot blanks now.
Do you want a church wedding?
0 for 2, so apparently not. I was the ring bearer at my mom’s cousin’s wedding. I was so disappointed as a 3yo - they kept talking about walking down the aisle, and I thought that had something to do with going to an island.
Are you religious?
Spiritual, agnostic.
Have you ever been to the hospital?
Only when I was born, then when I had my tonsils out. Otherwise only to visit people in the hospital. Truth be told, hospitals skeeve me right out. In my psyche, they are places where people are born and people die. Since I already did the former, I’m not in a hurry for the latter.
Have you ever got in trouble with the law?
Nope. Well there was that one time in ‘Vegas.
Have you ever met any celebrities?
I’ve seen a few in Airports. They are never as physically impressive as they are on TV or movies. I shot the shit with Dennis Farina in the chow tent in Prince Sultan AB. I had no idea who he was. I didn’t start watching Law and Order until about 5 years ago.
Baths or showers?
Showers all the way. Modern American bathtubs only wet me to the waist, so kind of a wasted effort. Plus Navy training gave me the mad skills to be able to shower, shave, and brush my teeth in less than 10 minutes.
What color socks are you wearing?
Commando
Have you ever been famous?
When the US got involved in Bosnia I was caught on CNN standing behind my skipper after a mission. That was my 3 seconds. So I still got 14 minutes and 57 seconds coming.
Would you like to be a big celebrity?
Fuck no.
What type of music do you like?
Anything but hip hop and rap. That shit is the most soulless crap in the universe.
Have you ever been skinny dipping?
Once. Only because we didn’t bring swim trunks and didn’t want to spend the rest of the night in wet drawers.
How many pillows do you sleep with?
One.
What position do you usually sleep in?
Belly, slightly to the side with one arm under the pillow. Until my arm goes numb, then I switch to the other side.
How big is your house?
1000 SF Condo. Two bathrooms, two bedrooms, laundry room and garage and more closets than I could ever fill.
What do you typically have for breakfast?
Irish oatmeal, yogurt and a hard boiled egg.
Have you ever fired a gun?
Lord. I am an Army expert with the M-16, a sharpshooter with the M67 grenade (that still doesn’t completely make sense to me), qualified on the M-16 in both the Air Force and Navy. Qualified with the M-60, the M-72 LAW, the M-2 (Ma Deuce). I have fired the M163 VADS.
I was fully qualified to deliver the AGM-88, although only fired them in the simulator.
When I retired from the Navy I was still current with the Sig-Sauer P228 (which I currently own.)
Soooo. I guess I have fired a gun.
Have you ever tried archery?
In high school.
Favorite clean word?
Well…poop.
Favorite swear word?
Jumped up bald headed Christ.
What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?
48 hours during SERE school. Also did two and a half months getting four hours a sleep a day when on the battlegroup staff in ‘99. Talk about walking into walls!
Do you have any scars?
Too many to catalogue.
Have you ever had a secret admirer?
Probably, but I am usually too stupid to realize it.
Are you a good liar?
I am a shit liar. Thus I don’t lie. You don’t have to keep your lies straight if you don’t tell any.
Are you a good judge of character?
Based on the two women I married, apparently not.
Can you do any other accents other than your own?
If I try they just sound fake.
Do you have a strong accent?
Nope. Flat middle American accent. Being a service brat then career military, you tend to loose whatever accent you might have had.
What is your favorite accent?
Aussie
What is your personality type?
ISTJ
What is your most expensive piece of clothing?
Three six hundred dollar suits in my closet which I haven’t worn in years.
Can you curl your tongue?
Nope. Can’t roll my r’s either.
Are you an innie or an outie?
Belly button? Inny. A little further south, outty.
Left or right handed?
Right, although I can write with my left. Courtesy of a broken right wrist when I was in 7th grade.
Are you scared of spiders?
Not particularly, but I don’t go out of my way to spend time with them.
Favorite food?
Seafood.
Favorite foreign food?
Thai or Korean.
Are you a clean or messy person?
Fairly clean, but not OCD.
Most used phrase?
You gotta be shitting me.
Most used word?
Dang.
How long does it take for you to get ready?
From alarm to out the door 20 minutes, if I make coffee.
Do you have much of an ego?
Is that a question?
Do you suck or bite lollipops?
Don’t do lollis.
Do you talk to yourself?
I talk to the universe, so I suppose when no one else is around that could be considered talking to myself.
Do you sing to yourself?
Only when inspired.
Are you a good singer?
Only when inspired.
Biggest Fear?
I don’t like the idea of being cut. Once I’m cut it’s not a big deal. Other than that heights when I don’t have anything to hold onto.
Are you a gossip?
Not really.
Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?
Lately I would say Age of Adeline. Before that I’d have to go back to No Way Out.
Do you like long or short hair?
I like my hair short. I like long hair on women.
Can you name all 50 states of America?
Sure. I’m pretty sure I can name all the countries in Europe as well. Navy Training!
Favorite school subject?
History. In Grad school, quantitative analysis.
Extrovert or Introvert?
ISTJ
Have you ever been scuba diving?
Qualified in ‘99 before cruise. The plan was to dive the Great Barrier Reef. The chicks in Sydney distracted me.
What makes you nervous?
Not much lately other than millennials sharing my roads. We have successfully created a generation that can’t drive.
Are you scared of the dark?
I mostly move around in the dark in the apartment. I consider it training for me ever going blind.
Do you correct people when they make mistakes?
Stupid mistakes. But I’m not a grammar nazi or anything like that.
Are you ticklish?
Stay away from mah nipples!
Have you ever started a rumor?
Not that I can recall.
Have you ever been in a position of authority?
1200 Hours as an EA-6B mission commander. Assistant Command and Control Warfare Commander for a battlegroup. I guess that would be yes.
Have you ever drank underage?
I was working security (before taking over as the lifeguard) at White’s Beach last Freakers Ball. Somebody drove past us handing out warm beers. I was 16.
Have you ever done drugs?
Smoked pot once.
Who was your first real crush?
Rhonda Wheeler. My original beach baby.
How many piercings do you have?
Is that really a question? Men don’t have piercings.
Can you roll your Rs?
Didn’t I already answer that?
How fast can you type?
Entry level secretary - I actually took a test. I am more about content than speed.
How fast can you run?
Homie don’t run no more. I am not in a hurry for hip replacement surgery. Back in the day I had about a 7 minute mile. In AOCS I did the 1.8 mile cross country course (half of which was in sand) in 8:01. I cried. I wanted that sub 8 so bad.
What color is your hair right now?
Brown with shots of grey.
What color are your eyes?
Green
What are you allergic to?
Tree pollen and rejection.
Do you keep a journal?
What the hell do you call this?
What do your parents do?
Retired.
Do you like your age?
Better than the alternative. I think I like 37 the best. Or maybe it was just that westpac cruise.
What makes you angry?
Not much anymore.
Do you like your own name?
I’ve settled into it.
Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?
Christopher, Mireya. Of course there was also Dulcinea and Ammiana.
Do you want a boy a girl for a child?
Got one of both.
What are you strengths?
Loyalty and that Scots-Irish-Scandinavian stubborness.
What are your weaknesses?
Ditto.
How did you get your name?
Named after a character on the TV series “Hawaiian Eye.” Beat that.
Were your ancestors royalty?
Slight chance on my mothers side.
Dream job?
Well, if Hugh Hefner is going to retire…
Color of your bedspread?
Gold and bugundy.
Color of your room?
Eggshell.
Whew. that took a lot longer than it should.
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