I have decided to have my daughters Celebration of Life in August. While it might seem like a long time from when she passed away, I’m doing it so we can actually celebrate her life rather than mourn her death. We are all mourning right now, still easily brought to tears over small things. And we don’t want that for her celebration…we want to be able to laugh and smile and talk about her happily. We know in our hearts that she is happy and free and enjoying a respite before choosing if she will return to this world or move on to another but for right now we are still missing her so much that it’s a physical pain. It’s getting better…or we are getting more used to the idea is really what I should say. There are some days that I still want to scream and curse the entire world but those times are few and far between. Most of the time I simply miss her and wish I could call her and hear her voice.
I think one thing that has surprised me more than almost anything is peoples lack of respect for my feelings or perceived lack of respect by me anyway. I have had so many people ask me what happened, how she died, etc. etc. etc. Now maybe it’s just me but wow…that’s just none of your fucking business and not your place to ask. Besides the fact that we don’t even know what happened yet....we know she died in her sleep. That’s it…we are still waiting on all the reports. I think I’m just tired of answering peoples questions when I have so many questions myself. But it feels rude and intrusive…if I wanted you to know what was going on, I would tell you.
Thank you all for your sweet comments, I appreciate it. I know I’m rambling right now and I appreciate the support more than you can know.
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