Purpose? Try D and D in Adventures From Prison

I have a new friend. His name, for purposes of my memoir will be Calvin. He’s 34 from Minnesota, a former civil servant and supremely messed up. His experiences in getting here have not been as cushioned as mine were and are filled with physical deprivation (from normal societal standards), losses and disappointments.
By the time he fell into the care of myself and my friends he was a quivering, anxious shell of a man with no ability to hope. I’m pretty sure there is some PTSD in there along with depression and anxiety. Like I said a mess.
The thing is, despite all of that, I know he’s a good guy. You can see it in his eyes and in his interactions with us. He’s very giving and thoughtful, the sort of guy who could easily be taken advantage of by some of the predators around here. So we keep an eye on him, pretty much all day, and are introducing him to the good factions around the compound. And we are happy to do it. He’s like our project in Christian outreach, plus we genuinely like the guy. Eventually, he’ll be okay but he’s got a long road ahead. Thankfully, he (and we) won’t be alone to walk it.
I know the type of man Calvin is. I’m intimately familiar with his chosen facet of civil servitude having married into a family with a generational history of the same profession and by having a good friend in the same field. To a one, these men put others before themselves. They are self-sacrificing good guys who have found a way to make that character trait their livelihood. And I salute them. I really do. The problem is that when they have to give up their careers for health, age and other reasons, they also feel they’ve lost their identity. I saw it in my wife’s grandfather and many of his friends.
And I see it in Calvin.
When you live your whole life for others, what do you do when all you have left in the world is yourself?
(Hmm…there’s a book in that question. Not one I want to write but it’s definitely there.)
So, Calvin and I have talked a lot about purpose. It’s been very timely, seeing as I’m struggling with a similar issue myself. Unfortunately, most of my ideas he shoots down as “meaningless.” I believe this is because he’s way too focused on “big picture” stuff right now. It won’t be until he starts noticing how the little things add up in his own life to brighten his day that he’ll understand how big an effect something small can have. Prison is a great place to learn that.
Shortly after he arrived, Calvin met with our psychologist. When he asked the doctor about finding purpose in prison, the doctor responded:
“Some guys play Dungeons and Dragons. You should try that.”
Yeah, our mental health staff in all their brilliance.
I’ve seen a lot of psychologists in my life, especially in the time before I was sentenced and surrendered. A lot of our discussions were on what I can do in here to stay purposeful in my family’s lives. For some reason playing D&D never came up. I wonder why they didn’t think finding purpose in life from a pretend fantasy game and ignoring the real world was a good idea? Can’t see any way that could go wrong…
Needless to say, Calvin was a bit despondent to get that bit of advice. Fortunately, we uneducated in the ways of psychology – decided to use our wiles and ways to get him into Facilities and convinced the C.O.’s that Calvin wanted to work to maintain the grounds and other productive tasks. We figured he wanted purpose, so we gave him purpose…but what do we know? Maybe D&D would be better.
Sigh.