You in Your Face

  • June 6, 2016, 2:29 p.m.
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  • Public

I feel like I have more Sertraline than I should have. Like, 5 or 6 pills too many. It makes no sense, because it’s very rare for me to miss taking one. I must just have my dates mixed up.

I went to Walgreens this morning to collect my refills, and spent a long time poring over the notebook display. I feel as though I want some new notebooks, scribble pads, anything paper based. Except I have no need for any of those items. I have a stack of them already, and plenty of completely fresh ones.

I had a hard time sleeping last night. Then I had a hard time getting back to sleep this morning after M left. It doesn’t really matter, I guess. Today is an easy day for me.

It’s funny (and annoying) how quickly things pile up on me. Just little things like my tax payments, bill payments, life admin shit. I’m trying to get things in order today, along with doing some work for Tracy. I really shouldn’t be dealing with her stuff on my days at home, but I can’t help it. I’m so much more invested in her than I am in my other work.

Ernie and I had a fight this morning. I was sipping my drink and he barked ferociously at someone walking by outside. Which happens constantly, because we live in apartments. It’s not a threat. He knows this. So I spilled green gatorade all over myself and hit my teeth with the glass (one of my greatest fears is breaking a tooth in exactly that manner). I peeped through the peephole in the door, nothing to be seen, as expected. I turned and told Ernie to quit it, he barked again. Told him to quit it, he barked again. I pointed at him and got real menacing, quit it. That usually does the trick, but he looked right at me and barked again. I tapped him on the ass and he growled and showed me his teeth. THAT’S IT. I directed him to go and sit on his bed in the bedroom. He wouldn’t go, still growling at me. I told him again, and he finally went, but he sat on his bed and stared down the hallway at me at my desk for a good ten minutes before turning his back to me and going to sleep. I let him sulk a while, then when he came out for a drink of water, we went on a walk. I’m sure you were all riveted by this exciting chapter in my life.

Do you realize that my mother will be here in about nine weeks? I’m still dreading it. Most of the dread is for silly reasons, like I’m fat, I’m worried about spending ten days walking, walking, walking and my body being a total wreck. She doesn’t know about any of my health issues other than my migraines. I’m paranoid about what she’s going to think about my apartment - ridiculous, because my apartment is twice the size of her HOUSE. M wants to buy a newer car before she gets here, does he realize how soon she will be here? She’s going to want to meet my boss. She’ll be embarrassing about so many things, like the food, the Spanish-speaking, everything.

I need to just cool it. Stop worrying about worst case scenarios. Maybe I’ll be proved wrong.

Chair June 06, 2016

Family stress is the worst!

Pies on a Carousel June 06, 2016

If my mother was going to visit and stay at my place I'm pretty sure I'd have a complete breakdown and need to be institutionalized.

AlexYourAlterEgo Pies on a Carousel ⋅ June 07, 2016

I am extremely grateful that she is not staying at my place. Her two friends are also coming along (might as well call them my aunt and uncle) and they're going to get a suite together. PHEW.

Deleted user June 07, 2016

On the contrary, I found your argument with Ernie amusing. I can relate. My Bella has developed this rebellious streak that really gets on my nerves. Like telling her she can't get on the couch and she does anyway. If I hurt her feelings, she pees on the bathroom is super annoying.

What do you have planned to do with your mom? Is she staying with you?

AlexYourAlterEgo Deleted user ⋅ June 07, 2016

OMG Ernie loves the vengeance pee on the bathroom rug toooooo! Haha. I just find the whole thing a bit ridiculous, because when we have a falling out, we both get upset about it like we're arguing with a spouse or something. It's a little weird, haha.

My mother's not staying with us, thank goodness. We have room, but no spare bed or anything. Plus, two of her friends are coming too (who are basically my aunt and uncle) so they're going to get a suite together. They'll also have a rental car because they're driving in from San Francisco, so that helps a lot. I'm just making lists of touristy things to do, and some stuff that I know she'll really be into, like meditation and wine tasting. I don't have to spend every day with them, and I will need to work, but I can definitely see them every day at least, and spend most days doing stuff with them.

Deleted user AlexYourAlterEgo ⋅ June 07, 2016

Funny thing is Bella used to pee in the shower, but I think she realized that all I had to do was turn the water on to clean it up. I never really gave her any grief over it. Now I bring her into the bathroom after she's peed on the rug and scold her like a toddler and she rolls on her back with her tail between her legs like a good submissive pup, but won't make eye contact. She is so sensitive; the husband and I will carry on a conversation in different rooms and she thinks we're arguing so she will hide in the closet until we're done. Little bitch usually "sides" with him, though.

Oh, good, I'm glad she's not staying with you. You don't need the stress or anxiety! It's awesome that you're looking for things to do that you know she would enjoy.

AlexYourAlterEgo Deleted user ⋅ June 07, 2016

Aw Bella! Haha. Ernie hasn't peed on my bathroom rug in some time now (touch wood), but I did catch him walking in there a couple of weeks back, and called him back out. He's a sensitive guy, too. Just one thing needs to set him off, and then he's in this cycle of being naughty, getting in trouble for it, then being naughty because he's upset he got in trouble.....

colojojo June 11, 2016

I'm a sucker for notebooks. Even after school was over, I would always go and buy the limit of notebooks at Shopko, and it would cost less than $2 :D

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