Goodbye, My Family. in Life

Today, we laid to rest, out in the Pacific Ocean, my Family:

My Grandfather who passed away in 1999, My Grandmother who passed away in 2008 (both my Fathers parents, of whom I was very close to), my Mother who passed away in 2011, and my Father who passed away in 2014.

It was my Fathers job to set his parents free in the Pacific Ocean, their ashes to be scattered there, or the Atlantic. He chose neither and instead kept them in the closet. Then, my Mother passed away, and once again he chose to put her in the closet, too. As he passed, it was then left to me to take care of.

My soon to be ex wife is a good soul, and was very close to my Father. He’d call up and talk to her for awhile, then she’d ask, “do you want to talk to your daughter?” He’d respond with, “I guess so…” He loved me, but she was new material and didn’t grow up with his anger. I’m glad that she got to know him so well and that he was happy we were together.

She and I decided to do this together, before she leaves next week, for a new State and a new Life. I’m grateful she came with me. It was hard…I’ve had hand surgery, so physically it would have been hard to lift some of these items as it’s still weak, but also emotionally it would have been near impossible to do this on my own.

I packed up My Family in a box and put them on the moving truck when we came back out here. They’ve been in storage and my business location, until this past week when we brought them home. It’s weird. They’re just ashes. It’s not THEM, but it’s a monumental task to dispose of almost 2.5 gallons of ashes, without anyone really noticing.

She dumped them in the water for me…the bucket was heavy. I said goodbye. They kept coming back up in the tide, rolling over my shoes, lapping at my feet, as if to say, “Thank you.” I hope, I really pray that’s what they were saying…my Grandfather’s bones weren’t macerated like the others, and he’d been waiting the longest.

It was strange, all 4 sets were different in color and composition. It was almost surreal to know and understand I could pick them out if I had to.

…of course, this process couldn’t go easy, either. My Mothers ashes were in a box that had 4 screws holding it shut, and of course we didn’t have a Phillips screwdriver in my car - and of course the front desk of the hotel had no tools, so we used a butter knife and time to get that open. Just like my mother to be the last pain in the ass…I’m sure somewhere she’s laughing about this.

They’re all gone now. When I go, I’ve instructed my soon to be ex, if she’s still in charge of things, to scatter me in the Pacific further South - like far down in California. This cold weather here in Oregon doesn’t sit well with me for water - I’ll meet up with them down there.

Goodbye Lyle, Nellie, Victoria and Curtis. I’m sorry it took so long to be responsible to you.