I've heard nothing from my Heslop. The funeral will be on new year's eve.
I have also heard nothing from my husband aside from a "merry christmas". No more, no less.
I just feel awful.
I can feel myself sinking, and I'm making a half-hearted attempt to avoid it. I have to paint more of the house with my mother tomorrow, she needs a ton of other stuff done that I will put my hand up for. I am going out tonight for a couple of hours to see my aunt's band play.
I don't know. Every day that I am still here, I am reminded of how M has let me down. I'm not in a position to act on it until I know why he is taking so long and even then ...
I don't know. Fuck this.
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