Victim Impact Panel in Muddling Through As Best I Can
- April 6, 2016, 10:41 p.m.
- |
- Public
I spoke with MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers) recently, and they expressed interest in me becoming a speaker at Victim Impact Panels. I would be expected to go to court ordered sessions and speak to men and women about my experience in an effort to educate them on the dangers of impaired driving. My advocate asked me to prepare a sample speech, which I have done. I would like some feedback before i submit it to them if any of you would be willing. It’s a bit of a long read, but it is supposed to last at least three minutes.
"VICTIM IMPACT PANEL #1
Good evening, my name is John Frazier, and I am here to tell you my story. It isn’t long, and it isn’t complicated. I am the father of four boys, two of whom have died due in vehicle related wrecks. The first, Austin, died in 2000 at the age of 18. It was a single car accident, and we have never known the cause, only the aftermath. He was in the hospital for 19 days, and in the end, he did not succumb to his injuries, but to something as simple and unexpected as a staph infection. There was no one to blame, other than the universe, and nowhere to aim our anger and grief. But the 19 days of sitting at his bedside, praying for a miracle, making deals with God, and finally, holding his hand and watching his last heartbeat on the monitor is a memory that will be with his mother and I for the rest of our lives. You can’t imagine that feeling of helplessness, of being the father, the “fixer of everything”, and being completely helpless to save your child. My only comfort is that I was there with him until his last breath, praying and telling him how much I loved him.
On May 17th, 2015 my third son, Bradley and his bride of five months, along with his three year old step-daughter and five week old daughter were struck and killed by a young man who was three times the legal limit for alcohol consumption, and was high on cocaine and marijuana. Alejandro Guzman-Lopez was traveling by his own admission at least 100 mph when he hit their SUV causing it to roll over five times. He then ran from the scene and was apprehended by a good Samaritan who held him until police arrived. My daughter in law Shea died on the scene, Bradley died in the hospital before I was able to arrive. They were both 21 years old. Barely starting out their lives together, they had those lives torn away by one young man’s stupid decision. Thankfully and by the grace of God, my granddaughters survived unhurt.
Guzman testified that he didn’t think he was intoxicated at the time.
Whether or not you believe this, it takes very little alcohol to alter your perception and your reaction time. It alters your decision making capabilities as well, making it all the more vital that you, as responsible adults make the decision BEFORE YOU DRINK to stay away from operating any kind of motor vehicle if you are going to consume alcohol.
Now, your presence here tonight is a clear statement that you have at least in this instance failed to make that decision. I hope for the sake of others, and for you, that your decision did not result in the injury or death of someone else.
If you are here, whether voluntarily or court ordered, I want to say this to you: once you have taken a life, there is no giving it back. There can be no compensation for what you have done, and what you have done is consign countless people to a lifetime of loss and grief. The loss of a child is like no other. For over sixteen years, I have missed and grieved my son. Yes, there are days when it comes in the form of fond memories and happier times. Just as often, it comes like a tidal wave of loss and hopelessness. It comes without warning; it comes without mercy.
Now, that first loss has been compounded with the loss of two more children, this time at the hands and because of the selfish decision a young man, just like you, made.
As a parent who has already been down this road, I know I will go on; I know I will survive even on those too frequent days that I don’t want to. And there are those days, too many of them, when it still seems impossible to me to keep on going without them. We invest so much in our children that the loss is a physical pain that is unbearable at times. If not for my remaining family, my other two sons and my grandchildren, I would have stopped long before now.
But, not only did I lose my son, my grandchildren lost their parents. The only way they will know Brad and Shea is through me. So I stick around, like a dinosaur who knows it’s time is past, but still has work to do. Part of that work is to come here tonight, to speak to you and try to help you see what your poor decisions can ultimately come to.
I’m not here to guilt you, or judge you. I’m here to tell you, that your lives matter as much as those of all those lost to drunken drivers on our roads. If you continue down this path, there is every possibility that you will create another childless parent, widow, or orphan.
A last thought before I leave you. Mr. Guzman did not just devastate my life and the lives of my family with his actions. I had the opportunity to tell him this in court. He also devastated his own. He will now serve a minimum of 20 years in prison. As a prison guard I can tell you, there is no pleasant side the incarceration in Texas. It is brutal and unkind. He will now be separated from the people he loves, and who love him. He will not have a wife, or children of his own.
When he does get out, he will be well into his middle age, his best and most productive years behind him, and in his case, deported back to his country of origin. His life as he knew it is over forever, and there is no getting it back.
This is the future you will create for yourselves if you continue down this path. I urge you to consider what I’ve had to say here this evening and do what is necessary to protect not only the lives and futures of others, but for yourselves and those who love and care about you as well.
Thank you for your time and attention. Good evening.”
Last updated April 06, 2016
I need tea. ⋅ April 07, 2016
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