Struggling in It's a Suhaila!

The title says it all.

I’m about to hit the six month mark, and this week was really hard at college. Maybe because I’d had the week off for half term and was more relaxed, or maybe because it is getting to the point where Jasmine’s needs really do come first.

I felt so tired that yesterday (Thursday) I fell asleep on the bus and only because I got woke up when the bus driver had to slam his brakes on, I was able to get off the bus in time at the right stop.

I think this is my time. I think I have to go into college and do the final few weeks at home by myself. I’m seeing it as a bit of a defeat, but I really have to think of my health and the effects on Jasmine. So close but yet so far. I am not giving up on my exams though.

Daniel’s been wonderful, he said he’s going to come and see me tomorrow to see how I am. I really am all over at the moment. I wish my sister was here. I wish Daniel lived just up the road so I could see him every day and just go and knock on the door. I wish....

I wish I could reach through this screen and hug all the nice people who have given me support through here.

I’m going to try and sleep. I have a lot to think about and choices to make.