Today a mushroom cloud is blooming in my head. A beautiful thing to feel, like an expansive wall of thought. I decided to experiment with my blood pressure medication (given to me due to my diabetes) and found that it's the main cause of my balanced, uninspired state of late. Due to removing the 5 mg from my diet, I have become much more intense, inventive, creative, interested. Among other things that will remain private.
Work sucked today. But I wrote when I got home. Aspen's celebrating Yule with her brother, a wiccan, and some friends (I think friends. Maybe other relatives?). They're creating their own incense, lighting candles, doing rituals. I find it powerfully fascinating. Now, I'm not sure I'd make it a yearly practice, if I were to become involved in a situation like that: I'm not a fan of ritual, unless I created it. How selfish of me, right? I don't think so.
Aspen and I joked about creating our own holidays the other day. Like… act like a drunk day, where all we drink is water and act like it's hard alcohol. All day. Among other things. I found it inspiring, but unfortunately I didn't write a single one of them down. I want to seriously create some personal holidays, though. Personal things that are serious, and important, and depth-pursuing in nature. Like Meditation days. But not just meditation, without purpose. Meditation with a food regimen, and a very specific focus. Meditation involving Tarot, perhaps, or half-hour increments of focus, where I write what I see as a learning tool.
But that's only personal. To expand out from that thought, I want ritual involving Aspen, and others who are interested. Involving the calling of totems, or creation of yearly energy items. I want an "Antique day," where you go searching for a specific antique, depending on what the other person tells you to do. Or another person. Or whatever.
Bigger and bigger. I want people watching days, and traditions involving activities that last the whole day, as celebration. I want sadness before celebration, and not just celebration--as most major holidays SHOULD be. Namely Christmas and Easter. Nobody mourns the death of anything. They simply act some heartless dance and then eat candy.
It's amazing how many commercials are on the radio talking about, "I'm a GREAT gift giver. But what have I ever got back? Terrible gifts, that's what!" Um, Buffalo Wild Wings? You just made me want to never eat at your establishment again. Sorry. Season of Greed! No. "This season is a season of giving gifts, but Getting Them is Too Important to Pass Up! Come to our spa!" Again, no.
I want suffering seasons. In fact, I'd love to create a whole slew of them. Two or three for the year, at the least, where I give something up, or undergo something, to make me a better person. Things that force me out of my comfort zone. Things that make me want to give up, to say I love that Other life much more because, damn, I really like caffeine. Or damn, visiting a park every day in the month of June is turning into a logistics nightmare!
I want a writing holiday. Not NaNoWriMo. Because that's, again, turned into something obsessive. I love the idea: dump out as many words as possible and hope to get the resulting conglomeration published! But I learned a long time ago that's not how I run my shift. Every word is important.
Yet. Writing exercises are as important as writing quality. Quantity, sometimes, means improvement. I want a writing holiday. With writing ritual. And prep beforehand. And all the things that go into it.
And a cooking holiday. Or cooking days. Twice a week, you make something new. Okay. Once a week. Maybe every other week. I haven't thought it out that far yet.
Regardless. So many great ideas. I'm brimming with them. And it's all thanks to leaving the blood pressure meds at home and letting my body work the way it's worked since, oh, second grade: intensely. I don't give a flying fuck if I die when I'm sixty instead of sixty-three. It was worth it. And I'm finally in control of my body a little bit more.
Character sheets. A character writing day, where all I do is create backstory for characters. OR D&D something or another! Or something. Or other. Anyway.
Instead of holidays, I'd call them Sacredays. So you can differentiate between whatever everyone else is doing, and what I'm creating. Or, we're creating, depending on who wants to get involved.
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