Makin Bacon Pancakes.. in (W)hole

Not really, we’re broke as hell and basically out of food. I’m about to cook up our last chicken breasts and make some rice for dinner. We have some boxed Pasta-Roni type sides and some rice and some hamburger meat.. it’s gunna be a lean couple of weeks.

On the up, we’re getting about 6k back for tax refunds, which should arrive by the 20th, which is also payday for me. I’m going to book plane tickets for Kasin and myself to go home for the month of June. We’ll stay with Heather officially, but Kasin will definitely spend MOST of his time with grandma Julie. Milo is going to stay with Ross and Ross’s mom in Montana, which worries me.. but the benefit outweighs the risk, in my opinion. We’ll all three drive up to Missoula or to Plains, not sure which yet (Ross lives with his mom in Plains, but Miss is closer and Jesse lives in Miss, so if Ross and Robin could meet up with us there, that would be a lot better for me and Kasin…) and drop Milo with Ross, then Kasin and I will fly out of Missoula.

I’m anxious about leaving Milo for so long, I’ve never been away from him for more than 3 days, and then I wasn’t even in another state, much less across a whole other country from him. I’m sure he will have lots of fun with Ross, and I know they need the time together. It will be nice not having to worry about childcare, or having to arrange someone to watch Milo so I can hang out with my friends, and I know Kasin with be with Julie most of the time, so it’ll be like having no kids for the month and I’ll be able to go out and hang with people I haven’t seen in forever, and I’m really excited about it. But it will definitely be weird and unnerving to be away from Milo. I’ll probably cry when I leave with him with Ross. And I know he’s upset that he doesn’t get to go to Alaska… but 3 plane tickets would be absurd.

I’m hoping that one of the girls from Milo’s daycare will house sit for us while we’re gone and take care of the dogs and the kitties for me. Otherwise, we have a lady who lives in Blackfoot that watched them for us when we went to my folks’ place for Thanksgiving, so I’m sure she would watch them again. It would just probably cost me more than I was hoping to spend. She watched them for less than a week and I paid her $100. I figure for the month I would have to give her like $400. If I can get a teenager from the daycare to do it here at our house, I can probably get away with paying her like $250. There’s one gal in particular that we really love (she babysits Milo from time to time) and she has golden doodles and lives at home, so I’m sure she would love to kinda have her own place for a month, and she could bring her doggies to our place if she wanted to. I haven’t asked her yet, though…

Work sucks. Things are going swiftly downhill. They have me basically doing training for 4 hours a day and working with these ELA development/tutoring programs and small groups of kids from 1st-3rd grade… and they have a long-term sub in my room all morning every day. It’s really annoying and I hate it. I go back to my class after lunch each day and do science and social studies with my students. But they are fit to be tied by the time I get there, because the sub lady has changed everything about my class and has taken away all of their recess time and things that they enjoy and use as energy release.. so basically they’re all crazed and can’t chill out by the time I get there. It’s not fun.

I can’t wait for this school year to be over. I have no idea whether I’ll have a job next school year or not. My principal just sort of dances around that topic when I ask. He really doesn’t like me. We don’t agree on much as educators.. his background is all in Alternative/Behavioral Challenged settings, so he’s a super hard ass. I am NOT.

It’s been a tough year, so far… 2016 has not been kind to me. But I’ve been applying for jobs in WY, and I plan to take the WY state constitution and US constitution tests that they require for licensure in the state, so that I can say I’m certified there… I shouldn’t need to do anything else outside of applying for the license, I’ve done all the required tests that they need… but it is really competitive to get hired there, because they pay much better than other states do.

I’m still really struggling with depression and anxiety. It’s really wearing on me, but I can’t make myself take my meds every day. My meds tend to cause EXTREME acid reflux, which is something I really struggle with already, so if I don’t have a full stomach and my reflux meds in my system when I take my anti-depressants, I quickly want to DIE because I’m in so much agony. I’m also always worrying about running out of refills, because I don’t have a doctor here and I don’t really want to establish myself as a patient somewhere since I hate this town and I don’t want to stay here. Honestly, Idaho is not very nice. I’m pretty sure this state rates dead last for education. It’s pitiful. Washington is a little bit better, I hear… maybe I’ll look at jobs in Spokane. That’s a lot closer to my parents. As awful as they are, it’s nice to be able to visit them. And my cousins and my aunt and uncle live in Spokane, so it wouldn’t be terrible to spend more time with them, either.

I’ve researched quite a bit about cities in WY, and I think I like the idea of Rock Springs or Laramie/Cheyenne. I’m hoping more openings will be posted as it gets closer to summer, but I really want to apply before this school year is OVER so that I can tell prospective employers not to contact my current principal… since he wouldn’t have anything nice to say. :\ Plus, if I dont get my contract renewed, I would have to check “yes” to “Have you ever failed to have a contract renewed, or been let go from a teaching position?” GRARG.

Alright, I should put the water on to boil for rice. Leave me some love, I really miss human interaction :-*