I've decided I'm going to have the talk with my husband tomorrow about pronouns. He probably won't be shocked, but I do wonder if he'll be OK with it. Having people use the right pronouns is important to transgender people in a way that cisgender people just take for granted. It says a lot about how people see us, and we want people to see us the way we feel we are presenting ourselves.
I do not present myself as female, and I really do not want people to think of me as female. I know the idea of being genderqueer is unusual to most people. Most people believe there are only two genders and you have to be one or the other. I don't see myself as male or female. So my preferred pronouns are the non-gender-specific they, them, their. Someone who will make the effort to refer to me as "they" is showing me they understand that I am neither male nor female.
I know that complete strangers won't get that, but it's important to me that my husband does.
My second choice for pronouns would be the masculine he, him, his. I don't see myself as male, but since I was born with a female body it's more important to me that people see my as not-female than not-male. I would prefer that strangers mistake me for male instead of female. I want my husband to understand that I am neither, but I would be OK with him using male pronouns.
Hopefully I have the courage to talk to him tomorrow.
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