Zulu chief Idorgaf here.
Our invisible lords and masters have deemed it necessary to add new trials and tribulations to their Grand Experiment.
It’s a new day. I stretch, yawn, gather up my brand new tribe members (two pachy’s, a stego, and a doedicurus that takes about as long tame as the stone it gathers). I get them settled and take advantage of Sloth the Stegosaurus spikey tail to gather 4,000 narcoberries. 800 or so narcotics in storage is just not enough, you understand. Once they’re all set in my dino barn or pastured, I run back down to the beach to grab Ragnaroc ((275ish Quetzal. 6+ difficulty mod)). We take flight, and set to wandering about looking for the mythological Procoptodon. The HUD in my implant suggests these dire kangaroos exist, but I am as yet unconvinced. I have a saddle designed for one in my tack cabinet from one of those magical toy boxes that fall out of the sky on a regular basis. I occasionally pull it out to polish off the dust and imagine what it would be like to ride one across Dodo Island. The hours spent looking for the fuckers, however, suggest to me that I may as well be hunting a gryphon.
Ragnaroc and I set out on our daily unicorn (dire kangaroo) hunt. As we travel up the central Spino River (we see five in about three city blocks of distance), something strange catches our eye. There on the river bank is a pair of creatures that look like plucked ostriches with leather hides. Or maybe a compy mated with a raptor. What’s this! New things to eat my face, perhaps? They both look a bit starved, so I head further north, searching for a plumper, better muscled leather ostrich. Luck was with me, and soon I found a beautiful red beast who looked to be the happy compromise between the starving animals on the river bank and the leather ostrich of my dreams. ((90 Gallimimus)) I commanded Ragnaroc to seize it in his mighty claws and off we went upriver.
We didn’t get very far. A young rex was tormenting a paraceratherium and I thought perhaps Ragnaroc would like a snack. I was correct. However, he decided to eat the leather ostrich as well. Fuck me.
It’s Dodo Island. I have become resigned to this shit.
At least that’s what I tell myself. Dinosaurs are shitty at comforting you when you’re down, so the trick is to just keep moving forward.
You know, I’m not sure humans would be either. Especially on a Lord of the Flies island. Doesn’t matter. Only evidence I ever see of other humans are their remains in the gullets of Rexes and Argies. Though I’ve died enough, that could just be my old slingshot.
Two minutes later a better ostrich! She’s beautiful! Well, her colors are awful, but that muscle! That tone! ((168 Gallimimus)) No snack stops this time, we’re off to drop her in the taming pen.
She’s asleep! And bloody. Whoops. Ascendant crossbow too stronk. Vitals monitor in the implant HUD suggest I was one shot shy of killing her. I have no idea what this thing eats so I shove everything I have in my pockets into her mouth. Mejoberries. Got it. I take my meat out of her mouth. . . (Perverts.) and store it in Ragnaroc’s saddlebags. I grab a few vegetables from the fridge in the hope that the tame goes a little faster.
She’s still asleep and I’m about to pass out. I pour 100 narcotics down her throat because she’s getting really restless, lean up against her and close my eyes for a nap. I’m sure I’ll wake up before she does. . .
Signing Off,
Idorgaf
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