It’s one of those days. I’ve got more than I’d like to do around the apartment. Days like today when I love the guy I am with, but I really regret being and staying with him. I feel like he really holds me back on what I am able to accomplish in life.
His priorities in life are way different than mine. His: to only really work 3 hours out of the day and bullshit the rest and go home eat, drink, smoke, etc, and not take care of any necessary needs.
My priorities; Our son, bills being paid, food in the apartment, a running vehicle, clean home, Food On THE table, etc.
I know I didn’t need to stay with him. To this day I don’t know why. I do love him. But we argue constantly. He thinks I am immature, and just an idiot. But the funny thing is, I had a decent job, vehicle, phone, money in my pocket at all times when I met him.
He had nothing. He lived with his sister, drank all the time, no job, no car, nothing. Now he has a job, lost his car because of his drinking....
And the icing on the cake would be right after I met him, my mom got sick with cancer and died. I lost a handful of friends through all this.
And my dad started dating someone a month after my mom passed. I don’t think he did it out of hey let’s start dating, but the thing of he’s not getting any younger.
So now. I am looking for another job. I am trying to get another vehicle. And hoping and praying that my bf realizes that the world does not revolve around him.
One thing I do know…he’s messy. I hate getting up in the morning and seeing what kind of trash a thin he has done to the kitchen the previous night.
I keep asking to clean up after him self. He says he doesn’t have to because it’s his home too. Sooo…I guess he’s saying he’s okay living in a messy home.
I just want my home safe for my son.
And he’s not helping.
I Don’t ask him to do crazy shit like do all the house work, but help with dishes and put things back from where you found them.
I hate having things out. I hate having this place where nothing keeps having a spot of its own. I want my own place.....
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