survey. in 2016

How long have you been married?
15 years and 2 months

Is this your first marriage?
Yes indeed

Is it how you imagined would be?
Probably better? We ebb and flow and change and grow in a very harmonious way together. We consider ourselves lucky because our relationship is so dynamic and, mostly, HAPPY. And we’ve known each other since we were wee, so there’s not a lot of mystery. Which, in our case, is a good thing.

What would you change?
It’d be great for his self-esteem and our pocketbook if he worked more consistently, but I also enjoy how flexible our lives our and that wouldn’t be so if he had a more consistent job.

Are you married to your soulmate?
I believe so.

What do you see eye to eye on most?
I think raising our kids. Amazingly, we agree on almost everything in this realm. Or we’re at least open to each other’s ideas and willing to do some trial & error to figure it all out. We also share parenting responsibilities pretty evenly, so the burden is not on one of us to figure it all out. It’s a process, but I think we work really well together.

Where was your first date?
We were in junior high, so probably at the ‘teen center.’ It was a place where all the cool kids hung out on weekends.

Where were you when you became engaged?
In St. Paul, Minnesota at the “Wild Onion” bar on New Year’s Eve ‘98, surrounded by good friends and family. I was pretty toasted on jagermeister shots - had I known he was going to propose, I would have probably gone a bit easier on the heavy liquor. It was so much fun though, as he proposed as we were counting down to midnight. I was so happy and so EXCITED, and it was so much fun to celebrate with a million people in a crowded bar. It was a pretty sweet way to ring in (and party like it was) 1999.

Did you live together before marriage?
Yep. We shacked up my sophomore year of college /his freshman year (1995) and lived together in a college apartment above a restaurant called 128 Cafe (which is probably now closed?) and then a college house near my one of my favorite bars called “O’Garas” until he moved to Los Angeles in 1998. I moved back in with my parents that summer after I graduated from college. I decided to move to LA in March of 1999 after our engagement, when we got our first ‘adult’ apartment together in Burbank. We lived there until after we got married, and then we move to a TEENY TINY garage guest house which was “Beverly Hills-adjacent,” because we are/were big ballers.

What was your wedding song?
Love, by John Lennon

Who was in your wedding party?
My two sisters, and my brother. His three brothers. Also, my good friends Kelly and Teresa, and his good friends Tony, Josh and Hai. My old friend Angie was also in it, but we’ve since parted ways. Our bull mastiff, Brutis was the ring bearer, and he was escorted by Aaron’s sister, Aliya. My nieces Jonea and Lana were the flower girls. My brother, Ryan was an usher, and my friends Tracy and Anne were greeters.

Do you get along with your in-laws?
Yes, for the most part. I’ve basically been “with” this family since I was thirteen, so I feel like they are my family vs. just my ‘in-laws.’ We are a dysfunctional family, like most, but I still adore them MOST of the time. But just like regular families, there are dumb little family things that go on.

What’s your view on children?
WE ARE DONE NOW, THANKS! (We have two in case you are a new reader.)

Does your husband share your views?
YES

Are you two peas in a pod or opposites attract?
Both, kind of. We are very different in terms of how we approach finances and adult responsibilities, but we agree on our world views, child rearing philosophies, food, movies, etc. So mostly peas in a pod…

How long are you away from your spouse before you miss him or her?
A night, but we both travel quite a bit without each other, so we are kind of used to it. I still miss him when he’s gone and when I’m gone, even if it’s just a day.

Have you ever compared your spouse to someone you dated in the past?
Not really, since we met and dated started in junior high. I definitely compared the few guys I dated when I wasn’t with Aaron to him, but no one EVER compared.

Do you trust your spouse?
Yes, so much.

Does your spouse trust you?
Yes, I believe he does.

How well does your spouse know your favorites? VERY WELL. He scored 100%

Favorite TV Show: Walking Dead
Favorite Color: Black
Favorite Movie: Goonies
Favorite Food: Sushi
Favorite Animal: French Bulldog

Do you get along with your spouse’s friends and vice versa?
All of our friends are pretty much the same at this point in our old lives. We each have that one friend that the other doesn’t LOVE, but for the most part, we are completely immersed in each other’s friends.

Did you go on a honeymoon?
We drove up to Napa Valley and DRANK ALL THE WINE and ATE ALL THE FOOD. We brought back a shit-ton of delightful wine and still have a few bottles we are saving for the perfect occasion(s)

Do you watch the same TV shows?
For the most part, yes. I watch Kardashians, Real Housewives and other assorted trash when I’m on the treadmill at the gym, and he watches UFC Reality Shows, Sports and Fights when I’m not around, but mostly we sync up our viewing. We have become VERY DISCERNING about our shows since we have such a limited amount of time to view them, you know, since KIDS. Our current hit list includes; Mr Robot, Survivor, Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, Homeland, Life in Pieces, The Grinder, Master of None and, when it’s on, So You Think You Can Dance

Can you agree on pizza toppings?
Yes! We love BBQ Chicken Pizza and other assorted fancy artisan-ish pizzas. He will pretty much only eat pizza if the crust is gluten-free, and I’m prone to default to that choice as well.

Who takes out the trash?
We both do, but I think he might do it slightly more often.

Who does laundry?
He does laundry more often because he’s a stinky, stinky boy. Kidding -but he does go to the gym for two hours EVERY SINGLE DAY, so he has to do gym laundry very regularly. And guess who has two thumbs and ISN’T doing stinky gym laundry.....

Who is the first one to wake in the morning?
Whoever is the unluckiest bastard that day. Lately, he’s up before me, but that’s mostly because I am nursing the baby at all hours throughout the night and I think he feels bad for me. Also I’m MORE terrible than he is without sleep, so I think he fears the wrath of not letting me get the few extra ZZZzzzzs.

Before Aurion, we would take turns getting up with Joaquin every other day. It was awesome -every other day.

Do you have any traditions?
We are starting to have some more concrete traditions now that we have two little ones. We started elf on the shelf this last Christmas and I’m sure we will continue it.

We celebrate both our wedding (11-11-00) and dating anniversaries (12-11-91) because our dating anniversary feels so profound.

Is there anyone in your spouse’s family you can’t stand?
Not really

Anyone in your spouse’s family that you adore?
I mostly love his family even if we complain and make fun of them sometimes. I’m forever grateful to my MIL because she helped watch Joaquin his first year of life and is helping with Aurion as well.

Do you know your spouse’s passwords/pins?
Yep.

Do you know his SS#??
Yep.

Do you ever nag your spouse?
Probably; but I try to keep it to a minimum. I get irritated because he HAS to work out for 2 hours every morning and it severely limits what we can do in terms of playdates, breakfast, etc. But mostly I let him do it without saying anything because he’s 100% better if he completes his OCD workouts everyday. And 90% intolerable when he doesn’t.

Do you admit wrong doing?
Yes, but not as frequently as I am guilty of wrong doing

Does your spouse?
RARELY. But he’s rarely wrong (*bwahahahahahahaha)

How would you grade your sex life?
B+ – ask me again when we’ve started having relations. We are slow to get back into it post-baby.

When was the last time your spouse bought you flowers?
Probably Mother’s day? May 2015? And before that probably my birthday - March 2015.

Last updated January 26, 2016