His accomplishments in Life and musings of an old mom-to-be

He has peed in the tub, crapped in the pool, puked all over me (and pretty much everyone in the family), bitchslapped the cat, pulled his aunt’s hair, scratched his own face, cried at his uncle on account of his being dark-skinned (the Little bigot!) and slobbered all over grandpa’s bank statements. I think he’s done pretty much everything a baby’s supposed to do in life.