im just not feeling the holidays despite my best trial. I mean, guys, i put up xmas lights. i got the tree up and decorated. i decorated INSIDE too. which, if you know me, i have NEVER DONE EVER IN EVER EVER.
but this is costing so much money and so much time and effort and im busting my ass working to pay for all of this and NOT be in a hole after xmas and to do all the cooking and everything....im just literally losing my shit.
i was initially excited to host christmas but....ive never done this before and this is such a sad christmas and im just....
im over it
i think im over 2015 in general. this was a shitty year for me and mine and i just…blah
excuse the perpetual bitching but DAMN im over it. I just want to have a stress free holiday man. maybe next year ill save for a trip so we can GO AWAY and not have to deal with it. i mean now, amber and mike will be around and they want to come over too. and i DONT WANT that. ugh i cant spend another holiday with that pretentious cocklicking bitch. seriously? she makes me sick sometimes with her “keep up with the joneses” attitude. She always has to do whatever im doing and i have to admit…
she does it better.
i get it. maybe i shouldnt be so harsh on myself or complain about my life…count my blessings....
believe me crewmates, i do.
i love and live everyday like its my last cause i undestand that death comes for anyone at anytime. but ONCE in my life i want to beat her at the game of life man.
seriously. maybe im just crazy or whatever but im tired of it of having her shove her life in my face…or her empty apologies or....just anything to do with her fakeness.
im done.
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