Meetings, scans, tears, hugs, confusions. in It's a Suhaila!

It’s been a confusing, hard, and stressful week.

I’ll start with the big news - today was my scan. My sister came along with me, and so far so good, everything seems well with my little mini-me. I’m almost 16 weeks according to the scan - I chickened out for a few weeks because I wanted my sister to be with me… and so far all seems to be well. We got to hear the heartbeat and I don’t know who was more emotional, her or me, but we both cried! I’ll be going back next month for the 20 week when I find out if I am going to have a boy or a girl. That’s one thing that is certain, there is only one in there. There is a gradual bump there now but I can easily hide it under my clothes still, but I suspect that it will rapidly become more noticeable over the next month or so. I did ask if it is okay to have sex when pregnant which caused my sister to raise an eyebrow, and was told yes but if I had any discomfort or pain or bleeding after I should stop.

After we went to a cafe where my sister asked me if I was seeing someone. So I told her about the college disco on Friday… when as in my previous entry I was seen safely home by the guy from my physics class. As he saw me to the door, we lent in close… and just as out lips were about to touch I pulled away, apologising to him. I asked him to come in for a few minutes… where I blurted out that I was pregnant. And I wanted him to stay the night with me. And yes I do fancy him (even though I’ve not said that to him.) He did stay, in my bed, but nothing happened, because, and I quite “You’re a lovely girl Suhaila, but I don’t want to do anything because you are confused and emotional, and you might regret it. I want to be sure you are okay though.”

Following my sister’s insistence I should talk to him, I am meeting him tomorrow after college finishes to talk.

College - I had my meeting with my tutor. I am coming back after my holidays, and we are going to reasess at the half term as to how things are, to see if I still go in or study from home. I’d like to go up to Easter to cover everything so will be at home mainly for revision before exams, but we’ll see how I’m doing then. Only tutor and physics guy at college still know but I suspect things will look more obvious after the holidays.

I’m going to have dinner and share hugs with my sister.

Tired.