Short Updates on Various in Never Say Never

Family: Dad compared himself favorably to Donald Trump. I left the next morning. Grandparents are so old and mostly housebound. Not sure there is a point at this point. There is no real joy or activity even in their lives. Brother is sad but productive. I had lunch with my ex-stepfather yesterday. Sad for him that life is not turning out like he’d imagined it would.

Friends: Filled me to the brim last week. It’s humbling to have three amazing women incorporate a trip to Alabama into their busy, busy lives. I never wanted to let them go. I want them to come back. I want other friends to come. I love being here but I don’t love being so alone here.

S: Doesn’t want to come to Alabama for Christmas or at all and instead will go to NYC with a big group of people, including other women, one of whom I have a big problem with. That is his desire for his Christmas, and that is the final straw. We have not communicated in any way since Thursday morning and I don’t want to cover the ugly details, but it’s the end of the end. And 18 months of working hard to please him and not compromise myself too much is enough time to go without a mutual effort on his part. All that’s left is to declare the breakup official and get my things from his house. Anxiety is mixed with the relief. But the anxiety will pass.

Beach: Glorious weather. Amazeballs really. Grateful for this place.

Work: Dreading going back. Have started going through my emails. Have started reaching out quietly to people who may know of opportunities. Need to figure out how my current situation can work and propose a plan for that as well.

Body: Have been to hot yoga five days in a row. Classes are kicking my ass. Feel completely unbloated. Will not drink alcohol this week. Will try to eat carefully. Will continue going to hot yoga every day. Will dye my hair today. I bought “critter leggings” at Wal-Mart yesterday and I plan to rock them as pants. Yes, I do. Thinking of adding another line to my tattoo for my 45th birthday present to myself.