Can't lose for winnin' in The Mundane Ramblings of an Insane Mind

Or however that goes.

So, I have two jobs now.* First is the one I’ve been at for over a year, shipping packages. It’s local, super flexible hours, and my boss is a pretty nice guy except for one super annoying habit.. if he has a problem with me, he’ll tell everyone BUT me.

So today I go in, and his WIFE tells me he’s not happy with my performance.. I’m too slow. Why can’t HE tell me this? I’ve been there for over a year, and you’re telling me this NOW? And then something along the lines of.. if my speed doesn’t improve.. well, you know the rest. Except I don’t think he has the balls to fire me. Because he hates confrontation. His wife even admitted that. Yeah, no kidding.

He slaps his packages together.. I’m a little more careful. Well, today, screw it. I slapped them together. He wants speed, he’s got it. Just don’t blame me if I overlook something while trying to be Speedy Gonzales.

The irony of this relates to my second job.. delivering pizza for a nationwide company I’m sure you’ve all heard of. My boss pulled me aside earlier this week and told me to slow down.. he heard I was driving too fast (thanks, backstabbing co-worker, I know who you are). I maintain the speed limit, but I hustle, because I would rather deliver and get a tip than wash dishes. Because washing dishes sucks, but it’s not nearly as bad as sweeping and mopping.

So, one job, too slow.. the other, too fast. I can’t win for losin’.

I’m never going to get that saying right.

*eBay, Amazon, and selling on Craigslist not included.

Last updated December 09, 2015