Okay....soooooooo. I realize that the only way I can force myself to write here consistently is to make these monthly challenges for myself. I woke up with this idea in my head on December 1st and was happily scrubbing my skins in the shower with so much earnest inspiration and motivation and I just knew I was going to find a quiet 20 minute block of time at work in which to write to you, my Stranger Besties.
But, uh yeah. That didn’t happen. It also failed to occur on Days 2 and 3! (insert crying face emoji) But here we are! Day Four! Better late than never, or something right?! ::schreech:: I’m going to try to squeeze as many topics into this entry as I can. Let’s just get started, sheesh.
Day One: Topic, Friendship
Okay, so I have this problem and only because we are in the Safety Tree of Friendship and Non Judgey Eyeballs I will admit freely to you. I have......too many friends. I know this makes me sound TERRIBLE and also like, OH poor little popular Next Week, too many friends, boo hoo hooooo. But hear me out. I have too many friends to keep up with. How does one do it! Also because youse here know about the size of my heart, I ACTUALLY really love all these friendies, and I have a very extensive BFF list. Like here, off the top of my head, BFFs that I would like, die for and bail out jail and can call at 4am and such:
- Wendy
- Kirsten
- Lyndsey
- Amparo
- Robert
- Ernesto
- Carly
- Melissa
- Nicole
- Marie
- Debony
- And Others I’ll Kick Myself Later for Forgetting
That’s not to mention my Neighbor Besties:
1. Steph
2. Natasha
3. Matt
4. Eduardo
5. Ryan
And my neighbor besties are more actually like family, and we spend oodles of time together and they’ve like, ACTUALLY seen my underware (probably because I dropped a pair on my way back from the laundry room). In addition to my BESTEST friends, I have like the 2nd circle of friends that I adore madly, and lots of them want to text with me and hang with me and invite me to parties and events and such and I love them also with the strength of a thousand suns EXCEPT OH YEAH I HAVE TO WORK AND BREATHE AND REST MY EYEBALLS AT NIGHT AND SUCH AND THERE IS NOT ENOUGH TIME.
In addition!! I have Cousin Besties and my other family relationships to maintain: My lil bro and sister in law and mama and Daddio and also don’t forget to call Grandma and guess what there is also and entire world of books and musics and filled to capacity DVRs and games on my phone and the Instagrams and walkings in the sunset and SAN DIEGO ACTIVITIES TO DO and responsible things like bill paying and car washings and tire rotations and Cost Co trips to do and repotting those goddamn plants in the back yard, you are the worst plant owner EVER.
NOT TO MENTION ALL YOU STRANGER BESTIE ASSHOLES WITH YOUR INTERESTING LIVES AND STORIES THAT JUST KEEP COMING AND COMING AND I’M JUST DOG PADDLING TO THE SURFACE TRYING TO STAY AFLOAT AS ALL THIS OVERWHELMING AWESOME INCREDIBLE TANGLY FANTASTIC MADNESS OF LIFE AND THINGS JUST WASHES OVER MY FACE. And I’m gurgling and dying, but with a smile on my face.
PLUS OH YEAH, 40 HOUR WORK WEEK. ::faints::
In a quieter way I am trying to say: Is anyone else overwhelmed with how many People and Stuffs there is to do and appreciate? To quote Ricky Fitts in American Beauty: “Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can’t take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.” MOTHERFUCKIN AMEN FITTS.
So then, instead of doing things and people (yes, I “do” people), I end up crawling into my safe crab shell and cuddle my Bulldog Lifemate Coco and staring vacantly at the DVR (which I’ve been neglecting that too, I only have like 6% recording space left, wtf?). Where does the time go? Can we just stop the world spinning for a moment. I am dizzy and overwhelmed. Someone teach me time management. HALP.
Then what happens is…in a very quiet sneaky way. Certain relationship(s) wither up, and they die. Like the plants in the backyard you asshole. I will discuss a few situations like this in future Topics.
I just don’t want you guys to give up on me or forget me. Please KIT and don’t forget about me and have a great summer forever, OK? I LOVE YOUR SIRS AND MADAMS FACEHOLES.
Day Two, Topic: Re-Virginized!
Yes, Next Week has a new piece of jewelry and it’s a purity ring. I’m officially revirginized and my hymen grew back and everything. I can’t wait for my first time! I hope it happens at Prom! (insert blank face emoji insert crying buckets face emoji)
In other news, I’ve become the Master of My Domain. Oh yes. I got some new Toys, from A Person (that shall not be named) (just kidding we’ll talk about Him a ton later) and I’ve had quite a rich fantasy life/orgasms as of late. There are some rotating characters I’ve been working with that I will outline here, and I will NOT be judged for these (OK I’m kinda ashamed of the last one, don’t judge you judgers, his new album is fire and I’m not afraid to admit it):
1. Wentworth Miller
2. Charles Hunnam
3. Henry Cavill
4. Hoops
5. The guy from that Dell (?) commercial that plays the piano and he’s like, got a beard and he’s totally hot
6. Taylor Kitsch
7. OMG Tom Hardy
8. Justin Bieber* (SHUT UP)
*Oh yes my pretties, I would Cougar the fuck out of the Biebs. I have Bieber fever (insert crying buckets emoji) and his long shirts are stupid but fuck you if you say he doesn’t have a good voice and his product. Welp. I don’t know how else to say it. I like it. I’m probably having a mid-life crisis or something. Please standby. ::dies::
*Day Three, Topic: Christmas Cheer*
Gosh I love the holidays. I mean, yes Stressful, and parts of it make me want to stab my eyeballs out with a fork, but my work life is super festive at the moment, and my Christmas plane tickets are purchased, and I’m ONLY doing online shopping this year (Amazon Prime FTW) and it’s all cold and snuggly in my bed at night with sugar plum dreams, and I’m putting my Christmas desecrations and Muzzletoe up tomorrow! And I have a Secret Santa. AND! Tonight me and the nabie besties are getting up bundled up and heading over to Balboa Park December Nights and it’s all crisp and twinkly in the night sky and hot cocoa and just. Happy sigh. I love everything and everything and I’m happier right now than I have been in long time.
I love run on sentences. Yes, and. Yeah but still.
I love you guys too, work is over. Gotta go. MORE TOMORROW YAYAAYSYAYAYJAJAJA (no proofreading whoo hooooooo THE FREEDOM)
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