December will be magic again. in It's a Suhaila!

I’ve heard that song title from somewhere, can’t think who it’s by.

But there will be some magic. By his time next week my sister will be home for the holidays - looking forwards to a good month or so of her company. She really is my favourite person in the whole world. I feel that I can trust her with anything, and vice versa. She’s always been there for me, and I don’t think we’ve ever had a falling out that I can think of.

My scan is a week Monday, and I am so glad she’s going to be there. She’s said to me that she is more than prepared to be my birth partner and will do her best to be here if I need her, to the extent she will even see if she can get a week out if little one decides to arrive mid-term.

The boy… I am distancing myself from him. We’ve talked, and I think it’s for the best. There’s no future to us I can see, and I don’t want him hanging around because of the baby being the only reason. It’s going to be hard whatever happens, how much part he does play. He wants to have some input which is fair, and when baby is born and grows up, will know it’s as much my fault as to this mess I am in. am not going to take it out on baby as it will be unfair. It’s a life. A life that hs the right to grow and develop.

I am also seeing my tutor about study, maternity and so on at the end of next week. My sister has said she’ll come along - she used to go to the college as well - she said at the very least she can see a few of the old tutors of hers. My tutor remembers her for certain!

I’m trying to be positive about this - with my sister and tutor supporting me - and I am going to give yoga a try once I find something suitable for me!