I periodically like to wear my heart on my Craigslist sleeve. I'll be honest, I've had MORE success from that medium than any other site. It's because I'm a words person. Here's what I wrote this time:
So once upon a time I'm at this co-worker's house for a party. He's a pretty well-educated, cultured guy with a quirky sense of humor, so he has a couple of aprons depicting famous statues. Not one of the women at the party could figure out why he had a picture of a naked man on his apron. Now, I've never taken an art history class in my life, but I know the Statue of David when I see it. It'd be nice if you did too.
I'm looking for someone to be furniture with. Not the shiny, fresh from Pier One kind, but the deep cushioned kind of furniture you sink into when you sit down. The kind that you've worn indentations into. The kind over which you sprawl out over the armrests when you're reading and I can't tell if you're doing yoga or pretending to be a cat. When you come home, I want to be the easy chair that you collapse in.
I haven't been to a museum since I was young and I want someone who wants to go with me when I rediscover why I have good memories of them. Who is as eager as I am to see Wicked this spring and is committed to being around to use the ticket I give her when it finally comes around. Who wants to see Phantom of the Opera again, just not in [tiny local city]. Who won't hate me because I think Les Miserables is really kinda bland.
In "Owl Dancing with Fred Astaire," Sherman Alexie wrote, 'In all cultures, women will choose a homely great dancer over a handsome non-dancer.' You won't have to worry about settling. I'm no Hugh Jackman by any means, but I look dashing enough in a peacoat and I can dance. I'm not talking about that whole nightclub-grind-twerk-thing, either. I will be an awesome date at weddings.
You should probably love dogs, cause I like to call mine a "pocket mastiff," which is still a lot of dog and she's not done growing quite yet. If you do love dogs, fair warning, she's a heart thief. You'll fall for her long before you do me.
An affinity for water is also preferable. I bought a small sailboat last summer and I'd really like to drift across the lake together. Perhaps go camping on some forgotten shore.
I like to think I have a lot to offer, and not just the fact that I actually enjoy watching 90s-2000s rom-coms. I'm a little out of practice, but I'm a romantic. I enjoy treating my partner like a lady and you might say I'm a little old-fashioned. I'm generous, passionate, affectionate, and honest to a fault. Not remotely perfect though, so don't get your hopes up on that account. Still human, here.
So if you'd love to sit across from me over red wine or coffee, firmly ensconced in a pair of overstuffed chairs in a café and pick my brain, please feel free to write me. I'm as happy to meet tomorrow as I am to spend time writing back and forth. I'm in no hurry, one way or the other. All I ask is that you supply me with a paragraph or two to whet my interest in meeting you. There's little more disappointing than a pretty face with nothing to say. Please include local information to show that you're not a bot.
Au revoir.
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