Well, it certainly has been some time mateys. I havent written because my life is in tumult most times and I truly miss OD. Let’s see…where should i start?
Travis and I are doing well. I mean REALLY well. Much in love and very much so cementing our friendship/partnership. The only thing that is suffering is our time in the bedroom. He just…doesnt take his time anymore. But other than that, I am very happy. He lost his job at the grocery store and we were really struggling for awhile there but we made it man.
This also deserving of its own paragraph.
So much death has come into my life this year. 2015 was one of the hardest years ive had to date…i mean seriously.
We lost Gramma Cookie. Travs maternal grandma. One of the sweetest kindest silliest ladies in the world. The one who pushed us together. My heart ached and still does.
We also lost my Aunt Fern. The ONE person I could count on in my family. It was horrific being around those fucking animals. And my family are animals. Racist pieces of shits. Telling me that i need a leash for my kid, how happy they are at how LIGHT he came out. Cant even tell hes black they say. i hate majority of them. Im a degenerate to them because of my skin, because of my african hair that was in braids…these things fern LOVED about me. My individualism. My rebel spirit. Things that SHE taught my they spit upon-they didnt know her like i knew her. She was one of my closest ....now she and my dad are just gone.
people that were there for me. just. gone. forever.
both are memories. bittersweet memories
and both are ashes and dust.
i miss them.
ok…now no more sadness. Lets talk about the LIGHT of my life. My precious little baby. Joseph!!! i love him something fierce. I cannot imagine my life without him. All is well, except for the fact that hes 2 and barely speaking. I mean, i took him in for an eval and they did all this testing and shit…but they said they cant help. apparently hes ABOUT to start talking and he has an extensive vocabulary. he understands alot but he just doesnt want to talk. it makes me sad. I want him to tell me he loves me and call me mommy, but i guess all good things are worth waiting for. Hes so big and tall and smart, despite his silence. His reasoning skills are pretty advanced. Hes very dextrous and so silly. hes just, the best i tell you. But i guess everyone feels that way about their kids. :0)
besides all of that im still at my crappy job and I do have another job working for my old boss lady. thats the one i want to take off man. I could be a boss and im laying the groundwork for it. hopefully it does take off.
I am still an avid reader and trying to get back into journaling. I think its important to remember. I mean im 30 now. I know its young, but I have seen how short life is. I may not be around as long as I like, and it would be good to have records to look back on to remember, thoughts and words immortalized after im gone. I hope you all are doing well!!!
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