November 18. in 2015

Well, shit. Almost five days without a post. I so suck at this.

Anyway.

Since I last wrote an entry, the world exploded with all sorts of craziness. I mean, it’s always been crazy, but there’s a new kind of crazy to deal with now.

And while the world goes crazy, I’m in my new baby bubble and it hasn’t been all roses and unicorns and sprinkles.

So I was sad / mad / anxious / etc. but I’m doing much better now so this is good.

People said the second baby is easy; it’s the toddler / preschooler that is the ‘hard’ part. People are liars! The kiddo has been AWESOME. But the baby is HARD. Sleep deprivation is my biggest enemy. Without sleep I am worthless and I suck. And the baby makes sleep elusive. So I declare her to be the hard part.

BUT she’s a good baby, a normal baby, etc. I REMEMBER the first three months with Joaquin being The Suck. But I forgot how it feels to be a zombie. And the first time I was a zombie, I didn’t have a 3 year old. So it WAS easier in some ways. But I’m older, less tolerant / patient, and just less able to deal. So I’ve been struggling. But Joaquin keeps me sane, in an ironic twist. His adorable self makes it almost impossible for me to fall into / stay in Bitch Mode.

And the last few days have been better. AND I KNOW IT DOESN’T LAST FOREVER. I will ‘sleep’ again. And the new normal will be awesome. And life IS AWESOME. I just need to be able to sleep a bit more *so I can actually enjoy it. *