... Age four in tell me a story about when you were...

I was the next one to start school. My sister had started a few months after we arrived in England in 1971. My brother started in 1973 and, in 1975 it was my turn.

My mum took me along to the school three or four months before I was due to start, we went into my brother’s class and it all seemed so big. This vast room full of children, tables in the centre and a Wendy house near the window. The children were in the centre of the room in a large circle playing Here We Go Round The Mullberry Bush. Mrs Perry, the teacher, tried to encourage me to join in because, she was sure, I would know this rhyme… I didn’t know it and I suddenly felt very vulnerable, the idea of leaving the safety of home and my nursery school was terrifying so I clung to my mum in a way that I had never done before. I clung to the feel of her, the smell of her, the warmth of her. Mum and safety were utterly in balance with each other while this large, yellow room full of children that I didn’t know, singing songs that I was expected to know but didn’t recognise; that was unknown and too big emotionally. I just wanted to leave while hearing mum say that I wasn’t usually shy and Mrs Perry saying that I’d get used to it and my head was screaming at me that I couldn’t ever get used to this.

It was such a relief to leave that place, leave my brother who was unfamiliar to me in this setting. Back to being my mum’s little helper. I was a damned good helper, I ironed hankies like a boss!

Home was safety.

Last updated November 08, 2015