Stockholm's Syndrome or something in Musings

I dreamt last night that I was pregnant. And then for whatever reason I decided to cheat on Nathan. With a woman. And then she told me I was too needy and broke up with me. Nathan and my family refused to even speak to me. Nathan took Leah away and wouldn’t let me see her. Some crazy woman I know from my childhood tried to poison me so that I would lose the baby. Then I went and found my long lost best friend and we reconnected. And she was oddly supportive and took me in.

Whew. It made me thankful for my quiet little life. The desire for baby #2 is so strong. I had a minor freak out on Nathan last night. He’s chill about it all and having a very “Whatever happens, happens” kind of mentality. And I’m all “BABY. NOW!!”

I was thinking about it last night and for the first time really worrying about my biological clock. I’m only 29 but the women in my family all go through menopause early. I don’t know exact numbers but I’m feeling like if there is even a possibility of us wanting 3 I better get #2 here ASAP.

I have also realized I don’t hate toddlerhood as much as I used to. I don’t know if Leah has just grown up a bit or if I’m just used to it by now. Once you get used to tantrums, not ever sitting peacefully through a whole meal, and the house being a complete mess you learn to see past it all and actually enjoy the good parts. Or maybe I have Stockholm’s Syndrome and have been taken captive by a 2 year old. Either way I am enjoying life much more.