I asked Rachel if she would talk to mom and Cheryl about my concerns for Thanksgiving, and she pretty much said no. She said if nudity was so OK for me just 18 months ago that I happily had a nude wedding and expected all my guests to take off their clothes, she’s not going to accept that I’m suddenly so opposed to nudity that I won’t even attend a family event.
I completely understand her point. I know I’ve reversed my opinion on this, and I did it for religious reasons that no one else in my family can seem to comprehend. I told her that it’s not hypocritical to change your mind. But she responded that she doesn’t really believe that I have anything against nudity, and that I’m just doing this for attention.
That’s when I started crying on the phone with her. I feel stupid that I cry so much. I cry when I’m sad, but I also cry when I’m angry, or confused, or virtually any other emotion. I cry all the time. I cry so much that no one seems to even think anything of it anymore. Jayson doesn’t even really try to comfort me anymore when I cry, he just gives me my space to deal with my emotions.
Through my sobs, I told Rachel it’s not about me, it’s about my kids. I wish mom and Cheryl would wear clothes, but I’d still spend time with them naked if it was just us adults. But I don’t want my kids to be around them if they won’t cover up. I told her if she had kids she’d feel the same way.
She reminded me that I was only 13 when mom introduced us as a family to the nudist lifestyle. Fine, but my oldest is 6. That’s quite a difference. She ended the conversation by saying that I’d better just show up for Thanksgiving or everyone is going to realize that I’m putting my religion before my family, and no one is going to be happy about that.
We hung up the phone, I was hurt and angry and crying, and I’m pretty sure she was angry too, although not crying.
Jayson’s parents are nudists too. Not a coincidence. Jayson and I met because we both come from nudist families. The big difference with them is they have become extremely respectful of that fact that Jayson and I no longer practice nudist. When we visit them, they wear clothes. Why can’t my moms do the same thing?
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