Baby Shower & Parents ! in 2015

Haven’t written since going to TN (Fayetteville, near the Alabama border) for Heather’s baby shower. The drive down was a bit hellacious–I had just gotten a flu shot the night before we left (we left October 2nd, Friday) and I got a bit nauseous the last time I had a flu shot, so I had Amanda drive up until we got a ways into Tennessee. The weather had been cloudy and overcast and we hit a ton of traffic that turned what should’ve been a 6-hour drive into an over 9-hour drive. I drove the last leg through blinding rain, darkness, and fog. Not fun, but I got us there and Amanda was appreciative that I drove the tough part.

So I was only excited for the shower because it’s Heather and to be honest, she’s probably the only person outside my brother (IRL) whose baby I actually care about, and they went through hell to get to this point (her husband had testicular cancer at 18 so they tried naturally for 2 years and then went to IVF). I’ve known Heather for years and years, and we are her “oldest” friends, the only ones she really still has from Ohio. Her dad died in a car accident in 2003 and she moved with her family that year to Tennessee where her mother’s family lived. Anyway, the baby shower was nerdy and not typical at all. We even had a Harry Potter cake that looked like a creepy cabbage patch kid, but it was SUPER intricate and delicious. We played nerdy games and I nearly turned it into a bachelorette party (on accident, I’m serious !).

Heather’s house is older and needs a bit of work in some areas, but it’s cute ! The baby shower was at her friend Lauren’s house near Nashville. Heather’s house was built in 1959 and Lauren’s in 2005, but Lauren’s house had that generic “new cookie cutter house” feel, and Heather’s had WAY more character. So even though Heather has a pink bathroom and a lime green bathroom and a rustic kitchen and ceiling leaks, I would rather have her house. Plus their house is on just over 2.5 acres, has a tractor barn, an attached 2-car garage, and a detached oversized garage where she’s making her home studio (she does photography stuff).

So it was a good weekend. Only had a few moments of depression, you know, babies and all. Plus of course pretty much everyone at the shower was married or (lol) already married and divorced. I drove all the way up on Monday, we made much better time and the weather was great.

And sparing details, Mom and Dad (and Evie, lol) are in Wisconsin right now. They drove, so last Saturday evening Cori and I went over to see them as they stayed overnight at the same hotel they were in when they visited in May. They’ll leave Wisconsin tomorrow and I am working 3-9 but I’m going to just head over to the hotel afterwards and spend the night, as they are spending Saturday and Sunday here (well, technically Blue Ash, but close enough). Saturday night Cori and I are going to some Halloween party thrown by a mental health academic fraternity from UC, so that cuts into my time with mom and dad, which I hate, but Cori bought tickets before we knew when mom and dad would be here and I would like to go to something like that with him. Then Sunday I spend all day with mom and dad.

Not gonna lie. I’m lame and I still love hanging out with my parents, especially my mom. You don’t really know what you have until you rarely have it anymore…

And last but not least, Cori sort of pressured me to change counselors. I had him leave the message because I felt so bad. Still do. But it’s not working. It’s not that I don’t like her as a person but she’s not what I need, and I don’t feel like she’s listening. I don’t care about details–I know she has other patients–but when I’ve mentioned endometriosis and abortion to her and explained both, at least twice, and then the third time she says she was unaware of both, that’s when I knew she wasn’t listening. I’m not mad if she forgets my brother’s name is Nate. I’m mad if she doesn’t remember one of the MAIN REASONS I’m seeing her. So I have to see her one more time on Tuesday (Cori said he would accompany me) and then I guess I am contacted by someone else. I wish I could pick from biographies and specialties, like I did with Kaiser, but… oh well. Can’t complain about free coverage (which really has been a lifesaver, by the way, screw states that didn’t expand Medicaid). Also, and I don’t know if this has much to do with it, early on she let me know that she mostly does marriage counseling and family relationship therapy and doesn’t handle much PTSD. So yeah. I think I just got stuck with her because she was available.

All I know is things have actually been worse since I’ve been seeing her. Nightmares and stress and panic attacks and all that… things I’m not used to. I also had to call my gynecologist because I’m not feeling right. I don’t know how to explain it. I just don’t feel right, and I want to make sure everything’s okay and… I just want to double check.

Anyway. That’s enough for now. Can’t wait for the weekend.

~Rachel