My day off on Wednesday was nice… I went for a super quick walk down to the beach and then spent most of the rest of the day sorting through my clothes to try and work out what to keep and what to sell with a few cat cuddle breaks. It was REALLY nice to not have to work! But it was also REALLY hard to go back on Thursday!
On Thursday evening Paul came round and we had fajitas and watched Maze runner and then…rude things that I can’t write about on my work email! He is not a big fan of me working so much, he says that he feels like he doesn’t have a girlfriend at the moment! We have been making more of an effort to see each other in the week whereas before we would just wait until the weekend, but it does mean that we only really get to see each other in the evenings so we’ve been missing our walks and cycles! It was really lovely to see him though and although the quantity of the rude things that I can’t write about from my work email is less, I feel like the quality is better! I do feel guilty for neglecting him in that department though, I’m so tired all the time!
On Friday Paul gave me a lift to work as he had the day off and then picked me up afterwards to go straight to Amy’s birthday meal. It was really nice to see everyone and the food was lush but there were a couple of bits that ruined it a little bit for me… In the week Amy, Rhian and Christy had all tagged themselves at Nandos for dinner on Facebook, I felt a bit sad when I saw it but I thought maybe they assumed that I couldn’t afford it? It would have been nice to have been asked though and they know from me going to breakfast with them that now that I’m making tips I can sometimes use them for stuff like that. Paul said maybe it was a spur of the moment thing after work but only Amy and Rhian work at the same place now… I had kind of put it out my head until Amy brought it up again at the meal by saying that they had all decided what to do for our Christmas meal at Nandos. So that felt pretty rubbish but I tried to just brush it off. Later one of them mentioned something about a weekend away so I got all interested thinking that they might be talking about going camping again like we did a couple of years ago, so the three of them were talking about numbers and booking weekends off and then Amy started saying to Paul about how he wasn’t invited and that it was girls only and she knows he’s jealous because he loves a pamper weekend but he still can’t come. They were sat at opposites ends of the table so she was shouting all of this across me and I was sat there feeling so awkward because I haven’t been invited and it felt like she was rubbing it in my face! Again, I get that they might assume that I can’t afford it and I probably wouldn’t have been able to go but it would have been nice for someone to say something like ‘we’re not sure if you’ll be able to come but you’re welcome to if you’d like’… OR if they’d decided that they didn’t want to invite me then just not talk about it in front of me? It really got me down and I felt really horrible for the rest of the evening. Paul said I should have just asked where my invite was but I can’t do that! I suck at confrontation or just communicating in general really… maybe that’s why no one wants to hang out with me! I know we’re not super close but I don’t want to lose them as friends. I was thinking that I might ask them round to mine for a girly evening… it’ll be kind of hard to fit in though and Amy’s just gone on holiday so I’ll have to wait until she’s back… I was thinking about inviting everyone round to watch Magic Mike XXL because I did that with the first Magic Mike film but then I remembered that everyone went to see that at the cinema without me! And that kind of sucked too… we were supposed to go right after my parents took all my cards away so I had to tell them I couldn’t go. It turned out that they had already booked the tickets and hadn’t booked one for me because they ‘weren’t sure if I wanted to go’ even though I had said on What’s App and Facebook that I would like to! So it worked out ok because I couldn’t go but it still felt pretty poop! Sooo, should I make an effort and organise something or should I just feel sorry for myself?!
Some photos…
Paul told me on Friday night that he had a surprise for me in the morning that would cheer me up… I had horrible/weird dreams that night that everyone I knew was blanking me and then I had to work up early to work at my main job at 8. I woke up in the worst mood ever and was running really late because it took me forever to convince myself to actually get out of bed! Paul was asleep the whole time I was getting ready and I just woke him up to kiss him goodbye. But because I was in such a horrible mood I couldn’t stop myself from shouting ‘And where’s my surprise?!’ as I walked out the door, he mumbled something about how he’d sort it out later and I left. Then I got in my car and when I started it I realised that he had replaced my broken radio (I hadn’t been able to listen to music in my car for a month!) with a new one! I felt like the worst person ever! I sent him a text when I got in to work saying thank you and sorry and explaining why I was in such a bad mood but I still felt awful! Luckily he saw the funny side! He is proper awesome, he washed up and tidied up my flat for me whilst I was at work as well!
Saturday was pretty brutal, I worked 8-4 at my main job and 6-close at the hut. It was crazy busy at Pizza Hut and everyone left without cleaning their sections so I had to clean and reset the entire restaurant and polish 2 trays of cutlery after everyone else left. We close at 10 and I was there until half past midnight, luckily the manager that was on cleaned the salad bar for me otherwise I would have been there even later! And I didn’t get anything to eat because we had been so busy that we had run out of everything so we didn’t have any ‘burn off’. I had a bowl of special k when I got home and couldn’t fall asleep until half 2.
I woke up just after 8 on Sunday, watched a bit of Doctor Who (although I can’t watch the new series until I get internet!) and then went and did my grocery shop once the shops were open. When I got home I found a maggoty mouse in my back garden (I’m guessing it’s the one Africa brought in the other day, I should have checked for it sooner really) it was flipping rank, I fashioned myself a ‘dustpan and brush’ out of a used cereal box and then bleached my patio! I worked 1-7 on Sunday, it was pretty busy but alright… I found out one of my favourite kitchen people, Holly is leaving which makes me sad, she always plays the best music in the kitchen! After work I went to mum’s for dinner and got to catch up with her and Beth and eat my mum’s delicious spaghetti Bolognese which was awesome and now I’m back to work again!
I’m getting kind of bored with my hair… But I don’t know what I want to do with it!
I was thinking maybe a collar bone length bob… Kind of like this
Or keep the length and add a heavier fringe back in again…
I actually don’t mind what it looked like today but it takes so long to dry and straighten that most days I end up just scraping it back…
I was a lot skinnier than I am at the moment in those old photos though so I’m not sure what would look alright with my chubbier face! I’d appreciate any suggestions or advice!
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