Flash Wednesday; Ninjas in office in Flash Friday

“What’s new, Chester?”

“Nothing sir, just the names. Crazy has a short half-life and a shorter news cycle.”

“Ok, what’ve you got?”

“A born again rock star, page three, metro.”

“Help me out.”

“Section B.”

“Thanks … Oh, hey, I remember this guy. I liked his pre-natal work. You think he can manage to rock fresh from the Christly birth canal?”

“I don’t have an opinion and when you ask my advice you don’t either sir.”

“Not a fan?”

“No, last time I advised on a separation of church and state matter you gave me a lecture about how that’s not intended for the state to be anti-theist, just to discourage bias.”

“That sounds like me. Obits?”

“Fifteen old people of natural causes, two more under fifty, cause not listed.”

“And …?”

“Other side of the comics sir.”

“Huh. Okay. I’m I in there anywhere?”

“The Obits?”

“Why are you on staff again?”

“Sparkling personality, dry wit, and for six months you thought I was your wife’s cousin.”

“Which one?”

“I assume the cousin you didn’t know.”

“Smart ass. Which wife.”

“They’re all a blur to me, and, honestly, I can’t tell one blonde with fake tits from another.”

“is that a wife joke Chester?”

“If you prefer.”

“I should beat you like a red headed step child.”

“I have your day planner, when would like that sir?”

“Quicker than you can say, ‘Damn, that ninja congressman is fucking fast.’”

“Seems out of character. I mean for me. I don’t see that happening.”

“Have you considered being born again?”

“No sir, once was traumatic enough and besides I can’t even carry a tune. I’ve never done any time. And I’m afraid if I accepted Jesus into my heart he’d clog an artery.”

“What else do you do Chester?”

“I don’t understand the question.”

“For me, your job description, do you do other things, things that don’t aggravate my ulcer.”

“Sir I do everything, I’m ninety percent of the reason you hold an office at all.”

“Really?”

“yes sir.”

“Why don’t you do one of those things outside my office, please.”

“Sir.”

“And close the door.”

“Yes sir. And sir …?”

“What?”

“Damn that ninja congressman is fucking fast.”

“Thank you.”