Let me just be level.... in The eye of every storm

  • Sept. 7, 2015, 4:46 p.m.
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I’m on the precipice of great change.

The new house is wonderful. We’ve settled into a town north of The City with sidewalks, sunshine, and parks. There’s more space. At almost 2400 square feet, Katrina and I can live our crazy schedules without driving each other insane. When I get home at 0700 from an overnight shift, I can have a cocktail and play my guitar in the living room and she won’t even hear it in the bedroom, on the other side of the house. There’s a great deal of unpacking to do, but the furniture is in place. We’ve purchased new items, some end tables, bookcases, night-stands from Wayfair. They look nice, they’re sturdy, and kind of a pain in the ass to put together, but I’m not upset with them. Nothing looks cheap or cardboard-ikea-ish.

I ordered a framed print of Vigo The Carpathian to hang over the bed of the guest bedroom. Katrina is not pleased. I told her if we ever have children, it’s going directly over the crib.

I think I’m happy again. I mean, I feel it. Inside.

I’ve got September 15th- October 7th off of work. We’re going to see Chuck Ragan (Hot Water Music) and Brian Fallon (Gaslight Anthem) this month. We’ve got a date night with Chris Hardwick doing stand-up down in The City. Katrina’s birthday is coming up. We’re also going to see Rise Against and Thrice. We’re potentially heading to Omaha for her Uncle’s 90th birthday.

Oh and Fall. I love fall. I “nope” right the hell out of pumpkin spice everything though.

Things just feel “right.”

I was able to pay back a friend from 2010 in the amount of $200.00. I was going to lose my house in Florida and desperate, and this kind soul from Open Diary lent me the funds, and finally, I was able to pay him back when he needed it most (he’s lost his job, it seems). But THAT felt good. I never dreamed parting with two hundred dollars would feel good, but it did.

I’m sleeping better. I don’t dread going into my job anymore. Still drinking too much. It’s safe to say i’m a full blown alcoholic. Not in a “beat the wife yell and scream all the time” kind, but a “has several cocktails every single night” kind of way but still manages to act normal and come across sober. That’s probably not good, but I’m strangely okay with it. It probably doesn’t help that I have a full bar at my house. The idea was to curb spending so much money out drinking, so I thought, “I’ll just purchase everything I need for my own bar.” That’s what I did. I’ve got the Midori’s, Frangelico’s, Schnapps, Vermouths, Apricot Brandy’s etc etc etc. It’s not expensive to maintain; really you just replace what you drink and don’t use most of it unless a guest wants some elaborate cocktail or martini. Anyway, it’s easy to drink every night because it’s there, ya know? Maybe you don’t, anonymous internet person.

Anyway.

Precipice.

Over the last year of pseudo-misery with my lot, I’ve let my weight get to almost 230lbs. For reference, when I finished hiking in 2011 and moved to The City for The Company, that’s almost 90lbs of weight gain. I went from a size 32 waist to a size 38. One more size and I can’t shop for shorts at Express, American Eagle, or any other store that stops at “38.”

Well, starting TODAY, I’m drastically altering the things I’m going to be eating. I’m cutting wheat/corn based products out of my life completely. No Gluten. No dairy. Only organic, non genetically “modified” vegetables. Non hormone, free range, vegan fed meats.

It’s not as hard as it sounds though. You just can’t go down any aisles of the grocery store, just hit the perimeter. Also, with some cool nutrition guides I have from T-25, and DDP Yoga, and my Thug Kitchen cookbook, I can still make delicious and amazing food. It’s just going to take time. I may devote one entire day off of work to meal portioning and preparing for the next six or seven days. I’ve been trending towards eating this way for the last month, I just hadn’t committed to Doing It and saying No to other things.

Here’s the deal. I’m not getting married overweight. Period. Or being overweight. I tested the waters this year and I hate it. It’s not me. I’m not all judgy judgy and don’t care what other choices people make for themselves. I just know for me, this current situation is not working out.

I’m going to complete the 13 week DDP Yoga regimen at Phase III. I think once I complete that, I should be down about forty pounds, and some of my muscles will be reconditioned. From there I’m going to hit T-25 again. Once that’s done, I might do Insanity. And then this time next year, I’ll be a solid 150-160.

Best laid plans.

I’ve always been one to do something when I say I’m going to do it though, despite if people thought I could or believed I could. People thought I was crazy when I said I was going to hike the Florida Trail, but I did it. I made it farther on the Appalachian Trail than anyone I know, and though I didn’t finish, I’m pretty damn proud of making it into Virginia.

When that stupid slut and I broke up in 2011 and I stayed with my parents for a month, they asked what my plan was. I told them I was going to get rehired by The Company (from which I was terminated in Las Vegas 2007) and move to The City far away. They were shocked to say the least and were worried that I was setting myself up for disappointment.

Nope. Mission Accomplished.

I decided I wouldn’t settle for women I didn’t love any more. In 2012, the right one came into my life.

So I’m deciding this now: to get healthy.

Don’t worry, this isn’t going to become some progress-report-health journal. I just wanted to write it down, to hold myself accountable. That kind of thing.

Oh and I just ordered some fancy ass Juicer thingy. I don’t know how to do it and it seems kind of gross, but whatever, I’ve eaten boiled tree bark in pathfinder school in the army so it’s won’t be so bad-

So I thought I’d let you know that things are going pretty well. I’m happy. So is my bassett hound Dr. John Watson, my russian blue kitty Tater Tot, and my wonderful fiance’.

Mic.
Drop.


Last updated September 07, 2015


auburn_girl September 07, 2015

This has a different energy than your recent entries. A good, positive one. Can't wait to hear about the progress.

donut September 07, 2015

Sounds like a plan! Cutting back a bit on the booze may also help. :)

=bernard= September 08, 2015

With all the other good things you want to do I'd have to agree with donut. The only difference I'd suggest would be to cut out the hooch entirely there's a lot of wasted calories in the booze. Plus there' s the added advantage that your liver will thank you. Aaaaaaand if you're thinking about having children; since you're the other part of that baby makin' equation you want those little swimmers to be healthy.

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