Update on Court Stuff in Muddling Through As Best I Can

I posted photos of the grandchildren yesterday, and I maintain that I have possibly the cutest grandkids on the planet.
We finally got the toxicology back from the District Attorney’s office today via email.
His blood alcohol was .227, which is three times the legal limit in Texas for driving. He also tested positive for cocaine and marijuana use. Every time new information is passed to us on this young man, I am less and less sympathetic. Instead of a young man who made a horrible mistake, I see someone with a pattern of destructive behavior and a lack of empathy for those his actions affect. In court last week, he plead guilty to two charges of intoxicated manslaughter, two cases of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon (the vehicle he was driving) and four charges of failing to stop and render aid. After he plead guilty, his attorney said they would accept a one year prison sentence and ten years probation. The DA offered 35 years with no appeals, they have 30 days to respond or it goes before a jury for trial. Young Mr. Guzman-Lopez cried, apparently not finding anything funny any longer, as he did the last time we appeared in court.
I know I’m sounding a bit hateful, but I’m just......well, angry and hateful I suppose.
It tears me up to get up each day and function knowing that this man draws breath while Bradley and Shea do not. He destroyed my family, my granddaughters’ family, and Shea’s family with one stupid decision.
I get so tired of trying to maintain a good outlook and support friends and family who are grieving, and having no outlet for myself. There are days when I just wish I no longer had to wake up and deal with the world. I’m not suicidal; no thoughts of hurting myself or anything, but I do wish a lot of times that it would just end once and for all. I really don’t want to go through this yet again, but life hasn’t given me a choice. Somehow it forgot to ask for my input.
Pamala is planning on moving back to S. Dakota and taking the girls with her while she has them for her week. She is unaware that we know this. Her sister contacted us and let us know. We’ve already alerted the attorney and the local authorities and they’re trying to take all the proper steps before this can happen. She can’t hide where I can’t find her if she leaves the state. Too many years in law enforcement have given me the resources to find her if she runs. It would be better for authorities to find her before me if she takes them. I meditate, I pray, I reason with myself and remind myself that the courts will handle it. However, I am about at the end of my patience with her, and such actions on her part might provoke actions on mine that could prove harmful to her. I’ve never been “that” person but I’m being pushed past my ability to endure any more from any quarter right now. The last four months have been a hell on earth for my family and if one more person causes us pain, I’m going to take it into my own hands and show people exactly what I’m capable of.