Something Positive in Earth and Sky

My last few entries have all been pretty dismal, so I’m going to try and make this one about all of the good things happening in my life right now.

First of all, I’ll be 36 weeks pregnant on Tuesday. This is absolutely incredible to me. I remember feeling, after my miscarriage, that I wasn’t sure I even wanted to try to get pregnant again. That I couldn’t suffer through that again, and that it wouldn’t be worth it in the end anyway. I haven’t even reached “the end” yet and I can already tell you how dead wrong I was. I have so many beautiful, magical memories with my pregnancy alone that I wouldn’t trade for the world. In about 4 weeks time, I’m going to meet my son. I’m going to be able to hold him and soothe him and kiss and love him every single day for years to come. As I write this his little feet are kicking away inside of me and I cannot wait to nibble on his chunky little legs and soothe what little hair he’ll have.

Tim, after over a year of trying, was awarded a PCT position in the Emergency Room. We aren’t sure when his training will officially start, but his base pay is going to be 15.50 an hour, with a 10% second shift differential putting him at a solid $17p/hr. That is nearly $5 more than he was making when he started at the hospital 2 years ago. He’s also going to be working 32 hours a week instead of 40, which means one less day we’re going to have to find childcare for Oliver. If I can convince my boss to let me return to work 4 days a week instead of 5, at least for Oliver’s first year, we will only need someone to watch him 2 nights a week. That alone has significantly helped with my stress and makes me feel LOADS better about this entire childcare situation.

My boss approved my extended maternity leave. So, as long as Oliver doesn’t make his grand entrance until the end of September, I won’t have to return to work until January 4th. That extends my maternity leave from 12 weeks to about 14, and also allows me to be home with my baby boy the entire holiday season. I am so excited about this.

We’re basically ready for him to arrive. The nursery is complete, aside from hanging a few decorations, and all that’s left to assemble is the family cradle which Tim and I are doing next weekend. The car seat is installed, all of his clothes are washed, sorted, and put away, all of the wipes and diapers are organized and ready to go, and his crib is decorated with soft, clean, welcoming blankets and stuffed animals. When I really start to feel down on myself, I step into his room and close my eyes. I cannot wait to hear the sounds of him playing in there.

I’ve got a women’s chant circle to attend tomorrow evening with Marie. I’m really excited to do this. I am starving for some positive feminine energy and I really feel like I’m going to get a healthy dose of it tomorrow. Also, I’m just really excited to spend some quality, one on one time with Marie. It’s been a long time and it’s nice to be reconnecting with her. I also think that this circle is going to do wonderful things for my spirituality. I’m just 100% ready for this.

Pumpkin Spice everything is available now. That’s one of the best things ever.

I have a lot to be thankful for. I’ve got to try not to focus so heavily on the negative aspects of my day and surround myself with all of the positives because I know how lucky I really am. I’m working on that.

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend. I’m going to hop in the shower and spend some time outside reading.

Blessed be.