It isn't Rocket Surgery in Reconciling Ministry

Many years ago, we attended, as exhibitors, conventions put on by the National Science Teachers Association (NSTA). My company was new to selling schools science supplies in an already over-crowded field of suppliers. To compete, it would be a requirement to offer something new that would answer a need in the new trend of curriculum.
The new trend, at that time, was to familiarize high school students with the rudiments of Molecular Biology. My engineer, Bob McCoy, had designed two inexpensive pieces of hardware for the task … an analog power supply, and an electrophoresis gel box. We were prepared to take the world by storm with our equipment designed as it was, to provide inexpensive access to teaching the subject. Our reward would be, as is the case in so many cheap technologies, the re-supply of needed consumables … such as agar gels and specialized solutions of TBE Buffer.
Though our equipment was of a quality design, sales for these items never reached a fever pitch. Replenishment of consumables, the life-blood of such an enterprise, was slow in coming. In our involvement on the floor of the vendors, we met many sales people who were looking for the same thing … sales to school districts. In the booth of one of the niche vendors, we met Bob Cannon.
Bob represented one of the smaller vendors that marketed rocket kits … Estes. In return for a name, the name of the school in which one taught, along with contact information, one received a free rocket kit, quite possibly with a single rocket motor, but no other launch equipment. We liked Bob Cannon, Bobby and I. He seemed like such a regular guy.
The facts regarding this event seem fuzzy now. One morning, bobby called up Bob Cannon, for whatever reason, and Bob invited us up to his room. When we got there, Bob was just finishing getting dressed. As I recall, he had his shirt and pants on, and was just then attaching garters to his socks, to keep them from falling down, I suppose. This requirement may indicate that Bob had been quite heavy, as a result of which, his gastrocnemius muscles had grown quite large. This is often the case for men who have had a history of weighing more than is normal. This is true for women as well, I suppose. I must admit to having been a bit embarrassed by the relative intimacy of the circumstance. Perhaps it was then that we brought up the subject that, in his absence on the previous day, a rather odd-looking fellow had taken his place in the Estes booth. The substitute’s demeanor had not been nearly as professional as Bob’s, and he had been dressed rather oddly. We mentioned this to Bob Cannon, who seemed a bit stressed by the information, as I recall.
Some years later, we received information that Bob Cannon had died of some unusual disease (a cancer of some sort), as is, unfortunately, often the case among homosexual men. The communication came from Estes. No mention was made regarding Bob Cannon’s domestic situation. Bob was not a minor player in the success of Estes. There is an award in his name: http://www.nar.org/educational-resources/how-to-apply-for-the-robert-l-cannon-award/.
When I think upon the matter, I wonder how different it may have been if Bob Cannon had been able to be more forthcoming regarding his relationship with this other man. In those days, the appearance of a more or less obviously homosexual male in the Estes booth, however brief, meant something. We were vending to schools filled with children, after all. Yet, no one batted an eye if one of the vendor representatives was overtly heterosexual..
His partner, the man whose appearance I personally had judged so severely to have seemed inappropriate, surely must have suffered from the loss of Bob Cannon. Our own humanity has suffered from holding these judgments. We can never go back.
Our advice, at that time was on solid ground. People would make judgments based upon appearances, if not upon personal tastes. The immaculately dressed Bob Cannon was in sharp contrast to the rather oddly dressed substitute. Do not judge me too harshly for having been a part of the culture base of the past.
Today, we struggle to lead the way in accepting people as they are. Do not condemn the couple next to you in a restaurant because it is a man and a woman. If the ticket-taker at the theater is a gay man, how does this matter? If the veterinary technician is a Lesbian, how will it affect the health of you kitty? If you encounter a person at the Rite-Aid checkout counter whose gender identity is uncertain, how does this affect the transaction?
These questions will not change the world. There is a huge roadblock to acceptance of those who exhibit sexual or gender identity issues. There is the acceptance on the part of the immediate family. It is in this particular area that a church can be involved in such a way as to bring about acceptance. It is incumbent upon the church to debunk the notion that there are scriptural condemnations of homosexuality.
It is not quite so much for the individual that this is important. It is important that the family resolve its issues regarding homosexuality. Once the family has received pastoral advice on the subject, a reconciliation may take place.
It is upon this basis that a ministry may proceed. For those who are gay or Lesbian, or transgender … whatever the latest pop-designation is, it is a pathway back to the church that the pastoral relations with the families will bring about acceptance of their sexuality, rather than revulsion with terms such as hell fire and damnation. Give the families words of reconciliation, and the church will grow in the number of families served, and in the number of people served who had felt alienated from their family.