Hiding out in Earth and Sky

It’s freakin MISERABLE out there! Tim and I tried getting up early so we could cook on the grill (meal prep for the work week) and at 9am it was in the high 80’s already! I managed to sit out there with him for about 10 minutes before sweat started pouring down my back and I had to come in. I did manage to harvest some herbs from the garden, though. I’ve got them hanging in the nursery now to dry. It smells heavenly!

My trip to Maine this past weekend was amazing. It was so great being able to see family that I hadn’t seen in 6+ years and catching up. We had a huge party on Saturday to honor my cousins upcoming wedding, my other cousins wedding anniversary, both of my cousin’s birthday (they are 3 years apart and born on the same day) and, much to my surprise, a small, impromptu baby shower for me!

I was given a bunch of hand-me-down clothes from my cousin Kristin who has 2 boys, an amazing book and outfit from my cousin Brian (the one getting married) and a really sweet green onesie from my Aunt Kathie. It’s got the tree of life on it. I absolutely love it. Everyone on that side of the family is so open to my spiritual beliefs, and they all incorporated their gifts or their cards into it somehow. It made me feel so accepted and loved.

At the end of the party, they had Tim and I close our eyes for the big gift. When we opened them, there was a GIANT wooden box on the floor (my aunt Kathie is very dramatic) and Aunt Kathie goes on to explain that inside of the box is a 126 year-old cradle that my Great-great-great-great Grandfather built. Every first born in our family has used the cradle, and she wanted to pass it down to us for Oliver to use.

Now, let me interject here with a small side note. This side of the family isn’t technically blood related. My mother has a different father than her sibblings, and her step father is my Aunt Kathie’s brother. So these aunts and uncles and cousins and so on are all family by marriage (and later on a divorce). Despite all of that, they have ALWAYS loved me and treated me like family, sometimes even moreso than my immediate relatives. I was so humbled and I am so blessed to have these people in my life. It really was one of the most memorable trips I’ve had out there.

It’s about a 6 1/2 hour ride from where I live to where they are. The ride home took 9 hours. By the time I got into my apartment, my ankles looked like fucking softballs. It took 2 days for the swelling to go down and according to my scale I had 5 pounds of water retention. I’m feeling much better now but I think next time I visit them I’ll make sure I’m not 7 months pregnant.

I got a call from my dad yesterday morning. Mom is in the hospital again. Her abdomen was apparently so swollen she looked like she was pregnant and they had to perform a paracentesis to extract whatever was causing such swelling. They apparently drained 4L of fluid from her abdomen. My mother has cirrhosis of the liver from Hep. C and years of drinking, so I think her liver is going into the final stages before failure. The doctors said it could be her gallbladder or kidney cancer, but I really think her liver is just finally giving up. She’s going to be in the hospital for one more day, and I told her I’d go up and visit her tomorrow. I was going to see her today but Tim and I had to cook dinner for work and I REALLY don’t want to go up there alone. We’re going to get up early tomorrow and pop in for a quick visit before work.

I’m not stressing myself out over what’s going on with my mom. I can’t. I’ve accepted that she made her bed and now she has to lie in it. I will support her and listen to her but that’s as far as my involvement can go. I’ve got waaaay too much going on to carry her burdens as well. One day at a time, right?

In other news, we’re officially on bi-weekly pay at work. It’s going to be really weird waking up to no pay check tomorrow… we’ve got plenty to hold us over until next week, but I’m just not sure how I’m going to adjust to this new system. It sucks. I also finally got listed with my company as filing married so they’re taking less out of my paycheck now, which is nice. Tim and I are both bringing home over 400 a week which is helping us TREMENDOUSLY. I’m hoping that if we keep getting yearly raises, we can start looking for a house in the next 3-5 years. I REALLY want my own place.

32 week pregnant now. I can’t believe he’ll be here in 8 weeks. His movements are frequent now and sometimes soooo painful. I had some juice this morning and he kicked me so hard I almost spit it out. He’s already a trouble maker.
I’ve got an appointment on Friday and our 6-hour birthing class on Saturday. I’m excited for the class. I’m not really sure what to expect, but I’m looking forward to meeting a few women who are as far along as I am and getting to talk with them about their pregnancies. Plus, I know and absolutely LOVE the nurse teaching the course so it should be a good day.

Full Moon on Friday night and Lughnasadh on Saturday. It’s going to be an absolutely magical weekend. :] Blessed be, friends.